i’m up later than i should be. it’s alright though. i’m sleeping well lately and there’s always coffee.
as the title states, something is changing here. i’m not quite sure what it is just yet. at the moment, it is a feeling. kind of still in the wings. not really more than a taste of something that is ‘different’ in ways that are hard to try and define.
i’m not feeling as lonely.
i’m not as angry as i thought i would be of recent things.
i’m not as prone to spikes of sadness.
i’m also not putting a lot of thought into it. which is new and different for me. just noting it and then, going to let it stew as it will.
it occurred to me today to miss someone. several someones, actually. and i chose not to. hah. chose. instead, i have had a perfectly contenting day goofing off with my cat, chatting up virtual friends in a game, and generally ‘chillaxing’.
i’m probably not going to do much more than this for a time. it feels good. actually, it feels kind of nice to turn off the temporal lobes and just enjoy right here, right now.
hrm. is this something of practice blooming from work and effort? perhaps. maybe if you tell yourself enough to get IN the moment, eventually you manage it. that’s kind of how it feels.
i have decided that as soon as i get a few things settled, i’m going to begin saving up for a vacation. a real one. i know precisely where i’m going. i am looking forward to it.
unrelated aside — i’ve decided i’m going to pick up a laser pointer for daka. heh. damn shame the camera on the imac cannot pick up floor activity. reckon i’ll run it over the furniture and record that. should be fun and funny. makes me smile to think about it.
semi-related aside — i remember when i used to find miracles in every day. i’m slowly returning to that state of mind and you know what? it’s nice.
time to sleep. hope you are well. love and light to you… and as big a hug as may be set into letters.