it occurs to me that friendships die for one of three reasons:
– major life change
– neglect
– betrayal
one day, you wake up and you can no longer help asking, “why do i consider this person a friend?”
i am learning that when that question is sitting in your mind, it’s time for a change.
i am also beginning to understand the wisdom of putting an end to long-distance friendships. it’s a bit like asking for heartache, isn’t it? someone you can never meet, never enjoy, never hug. it has nothing to do with whether or not they are a good person. it has to do with the simple reality that humans naturally want and need CONTACT.
here i have spent a good many years being more than happy to accept long distance friendships so long as they kept in touch. and, of course, they never have. so i’ve been giving myself a double whammy — not only people who don’t act like friends, but who are at distance.
this rises in response to two of my uk friends having the nerve to suddenly decide to get in touch only to complain to me for not being in touch ‘as usual’ over these last three weeks.
“A false friend and a shadow attend only while the sun shines.” – Benjamin Franklin
well that sure explains a lot, now doesn’t it?
it seems they expect me to constantly entertain them with blog entries, video, and emails asking their response…. while they go about their own business, never reply, and seem to feel no issue with it… until i’m not the one making the gestures all the time.
er…. no, sorry, i’m finally seeing how the traffic on this ‘two way street’ is decidedly one way and you know what? i don’t think i’m willing to be the one making all the effort anymore.
let’s see if you can manage anything even close to the level of attentiveness given you these last years. because frankly, until you can, i don’t think you have a fucking leg to stand on to complain to me about very much of anything.
not that it is other than a moot point in this moment, eh?