i’m sitting here thinking about how to show love. it’s a light word these days, love. gets lobbed all over the place. tossed about like salt at a hypertensive table. too much salt ruins the meal… or more aptly, a word, said too often, loses its weight. actions always speak louder, but they are often rarer. the term coined for it ‘back in the day’ was ‘lipservice’ — to say a thing rather than to do it.
how do you best show love? i’ve always thought it is best shown by doing things that demonstrate you are thinking about someone’s happiness and actively seeking ways to increase it. you know, to set that goal before any you may set for yourself and strive to do whatever it takes for another to see, hear, feel, and know that you care.
it’s hard at times. particularly when the best action is no action at all. the buddhists say you show more kindness in doing or saying nothing rather than to do or say a thing you cannot be certain will land gently and be of positive effect. i found that interesting when i first encountered it; mostly because the determination of certainty is hardly a thing people tend to spend a lot of time considering.
you know how it goes…. all things based upon an internal consideration of what we’d like ‘were we them’ rather than to spend the time observing or thinking or asking along the way so as to better refine understanding from which to craft a truly giving effort.
i sometimes think about what i would do if i were to miraculously win some large sum of money. i suppose it is laughable, really. the chances are better that i’d be hit by lightening repeatedly. all the same, i do think on it.
i would buy my ex-husband a house and pay the taxes several years in advance. because i know how it feels to worry for being homeless and it isn’t something i’d want to see happen to him.
i would pay off the zetty’s debts and send them on a very long vacation. international.
i’d set aside a sufficient amount for my daughter to finish her college without having to do what she’s doing to pay for it.
i’d buy and send a car anonymously to a certain someone who needs one, but would never accept it from me.
i’d set up a college fund for a son of a friend overseas. i’d also settle their debts and gift them a house in the neighborhood of their choosing.
i’d find the attorney who helped me with my son and settle his debts, too.
i’d build a halfway house for folks who want to get off the street and coordinate with local business to see them restored to a fruitful life.
i’d buy a large plot of land and build a house on it for my good friends phil and dave, and see them and whomever else they like relocated to it and fund an account to see them taken care of or at least in a position where they don’t have to worry about things.
i’d stick a chunk into regenerative accounts or insurance contracts or some other low risk, long term fund for my own future.
i’d give a good bit of it away anonymously to people i encounter who are struggling and have no one to turn to.
i like to think about it. sometimes. it makes me feel good to think about the notion that i might be able to do any of it. silly, i know. but there it is.
i’m rambling of course. pre-bed. rainy and my joints are aching. i’ve missed one of my friends this weekend and that always puts me out of sorts. bleh. too dependent. i really am going to have to do something about that. especially since there’s no reason i would or should be depending on them like this.
mind you, showing money isn’t showing love… but it seems most times, it’s the closest people will let you get.
meh. bedtime. rest well when you go to rest.