The working list – ‘family’

I want to be part of your life.

I want to be part of my grand-daughter’s life.

I want to have regular contact and communication with each of you.

I want to be considered, included, and important in your lives.

I want to be cared for the same as any other family member.

I want to be allowed to care for and be around each of you.


I feel unloved and unwanted.

I feel as if you do not want me to be part of your life.

I feel as if you only want me around when I can receive offloading of your emotions.

I feel as if you do not trust my love of and for you.

I feel as if you do not trust my love of and for my grand-daughters.

I feel as if you are unwilling to fully discuss and resolve our issues.

I feel as if you are unwilling to accept my feelings.

I feel as if you are unwilling to accept my love.

I feel exhausted from trying to get through to you.

I feel as if you will never change on any of this.

I feel as if I do not and never will matter to you.

I feel as if I have been foolish to center my life around you.

I feel as if I have lost important meaning in my life.

I feel sad and depressed about being unable to improve this.

I feel as if you have taken our two years apart and made of it a life-long resentment and rejection.

I feel as if you ignore that you’ve cut me out for 21 years.

I feel as if you have been unreasonably punitive about something I had no other choice about.

I feel as if you do not want to really reconcile because it means balancing our perspectives and you still need to blame me.

I feel you are in denial about your anger and resentment; you hide them from me.

I feel as if your husband is intentionally keeping me out of your life.

I feel as if your husband treats your being as ‘belonging’ to him.

I feel as if your husband is empowered in this by your avoidance and rejection of me.

I feel as if you, as a couple, are rejecting me unreasonably.

I feel that you have deliberately concentrated your power against me in this relationship.

I feel stuck.

I feel my only option is to remove even the concept of you from my life.

I feel uncertain I can manage it.


I resent that you allowed Zettys access and closeness that you persistently refuse/refused to me.

I resent that you refuse to acknowledge that I love you.

I resent that you never choose me as I have always chosen you.

I resent that you are not willing to consider my crisis with compassion.

I resent that you refuse to give me succor and aid when I have always, freely offered both to you.

I resent that you seem to have no empathy in relation to me.

I resent that you have broken important promises about family therapy and a commitment to work on this with me.

I resent that you truly seem not to care for, about, or what happens to me.

I have withdrawn permanently because of all of the above.


I am in crisis and pain and, as usual, you do not care.

I no longer believe there is any way for me to positively advance this relationship.

I no longer believe that you even want to positively advance this relationship.

I am tired of hurting and crying and missing you.

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