If you have ever felt like you do not truly belong to any single social group, or that you are always on the edge rather than at the center, you are not alone. Many people, especially those who are neurodivergent, are very familiar with this feeling. However, what seems like a lack of belonging may, in fact, indicate a powerful (and required!) human competency.
Sociologist Mark Granovetter, in his influential 1973 study, identified an important idea now central to social network theory: the “strength of weak ties.” Granovetter revealed that our acquaintances, or those we know less intimately and who exist at the edges of our social circles, actually serve as the most important bridges between different groups. These weak ties spread new information, job opportunities, and innovation far more effectively than close, strong ties within tight-knit circles.
Modern research supports this idea with large-scale evidence. For instance, studies on online platforms such as LinkedIn show that people are most likely to discover new jobs or ideas through these weaker or moderately weak connections. Weak ties provide crucial pathways for information flow, helping both groups and entire societies to remain adaptive, informed, and resilient.
Consider a metaphor where society is like a set of islands, each island representing a unique culture or community. Most people are villagers, deeply rooted in their own island’s traditions and social life. Others serve as ferry-people who travel between islands, never fully settling but constantly carrying news, resources, and ideas from one community to another.
For neurodivergent individuals such as those with autistic or ADHD traits, this experience of being a ferry-person is often a reality. They may not blend perfectly with the social patterns of any one community. However, by connecting different islands, they make it possible for diverse communities to share ideas and perspectives. Their presence encourages openness and helps reduce boundaries.
Why do some people tend to exist on the margins of groups? Evolutionary psychology suggests that this pattern serves an adaptive purpose. Humanity evolved within tightly-knit bands where caution toward outsiders was necessary. However, when groups become too insular, progress stalls and communities become isolated. Societies benefit from novelty, fresh insights, and bridge-builders who connect previously separate groups.
Neurodivergent individuals often display what biologists call “emergent behaviors.” Their social patterns may not fit traditional molds, but these behaviors help groups adapt. By living at the edges of social clusters and connecting across divides, neurodivergent people may serve as evolution’s way to resist group-think and reduce ancient barriers between groups.
- They introduce new ideas and practices into established groups.
- They help prevent exclusive cliques from dominating, making communities more open and less hostile to outsiders.
- They increase a group’s flexibility and its ability to respond to new challenges.
In this light, neurodiversity can be understood as an important part of nature’s effort to foster adaptability and inclusivity in human society. Weak connectors are an essential counterbalance to the human tendency toward exclusion.
- Innovation is enhanced when bridge-builders introduce new perspectives to established groups.
- Social resilience increases because people with diverse connections help groups adapt to crises.
- Empathy and inclusion become more widespread, as ferry-people make it possible for isolated or marginalized individuals to form new connections.
If you often feel that you never truly fit anywhere, pause to consider the special role you may be playing. You might be a ferry-person who is essential to the greater social fabric. The discomfort of not belonging to any one group can actually indicate that you possess a unique viewpoint and serve a crucial evolutionary purpose. The world benefits equally from bridges and from villages.
Core Theory and Evidence
- Granovetter, M. S. (1973). “The Strength of Weak Ties.” American Journal of Sociology.
- Aral, S., et al. “A Causal Test of the Strength of Weak Ties.” (2022, Science Magazine).
- “The not-so-forbidden triad: Evaluating the assumptions of the strength of weak ties.” (2024, Cambridge University Press).
Evolutionary and Animal Studies
- Palagi, E., et al. “Stranger to Familiar: Wild Strepsirhines Manage Xenophobia by Playing.” (2010, PLOS ONE).
Neurodiversity & Networks
- Lim, S. N., et al. “Neurodiversity, Networks, and Narratives.” (2023, PMC).
- Understood.org, “Neurodiversity and Social Media Study” (2022).
TLDR: Being a “weak connector” or someone who moves between groups may sometimes feel lonely, but it is actually a position of great value and influence. Neurodivergent individuals often lead the way in building these crucial bridges. If you see yourself as someone who connects rather than settles, remember that your contributions are not only meaningful—they are essential for progress and greater human empathy.