done. as in finished; all interest sloughing off like leftover skin after a particularly bad burn. apropos and amusing, the analogy.
done. as in mental halt every time it wants to think of you. throw the switch, change the track, force the stubborn little car along the rails past the place where a thought of you lingered or was triggered.
done. as in choosing to remember all the things that hurt and were never quite important enough to you… reminding myself of the many ways i let you bruise me in the name of the moment in which you might finally, finally choose to stop doing so.
done. as in shaking the last droplets of you from my mind… soaked after a hard rain, shivering and cold, twist body, mind, and heart and then….. loose the built up energy of all the trying and all the choked back things and savor the way it pushes every bit of you from me, out and out and away, falling down, splat of memories of might have beens that soak into the ground and disappear forever.
i didn’t realize how good it would feel to shake you off. i didn’t realize how angry i was for all the omissions and unsaid things, or how well i could feel and sense them.
i wonder, briefly, if you really know just what you’ve lost. and i realize, i finally know just what i’ve lost…..
nothing.