Today, I am one step closer to once again being a home-owner. We have a soft acceptance (paperwork being completed today to make it firm) on the house and the last night was spent prepping, scanning, and sending up the paperwork required to begin the rate lock and underwriting process. Tuesday is the home inspection (with all manner of incense being burned and generally energy being spent toward mindful neutrality… mostly failed), and with all good fortune, we’re ready but for receiving the close date and actually getting down to the business of actually moving (which will likely be sometime in September).
I find I am exhilarated; I find that I do my best work with there are multiple, moving parts and deadlines involved. It has been a while since I’ve had the delight of actually driving something from “Point A” to “Point Z” and I am relishing the feeling of having free reign to “do what needs be done”. I realize of course, that any number of things could yet happen, but, all contingencies mapped and their respective branches, exceptions, and counters (along with failure points) clearly recognized and noted, I am feeling quite content with being as comfortable as one may be during such an effort.
As for the house itself….. my goodness, what to say? I adore it. It is my retro, funky, solid dream house. Frankly, I am amazed at how delighted I am with it; those who say housing is an emotional process were not at all off the mark. Not only do I feel a strong, visceral connection to this house, I have recently realized that the nature of that connection is far deeper than aesthetic appreciation or preference. This house reminds me of family and home; things I have (by and large) never had. That it is a mid-60’s house surprised me initially, but then, as a child of the 60’s, perhaps it should not. I find myself comforted and calmed by the simple lines, the somewhat austere dressage, and the simplicity of the finishings and fixtures. They remind me of bygone days when I longed for being somewhere that was not near-hospital sterility in manner (the children’s home). This house reminds me of the houses I might have called home, had life held other than “interesting times” for the people who constituted my family.
I realize as well that there is a considerable part of me that needs such a house from which to transform those old memories and associations; I have a need to reshape them from what they were and transition the last, lingering pieces of melancholy and regret over ancient history; I intend to use this house to both acknowledge and then, release those stones from life’s knapsack… return them to nothingness and build new memories and delight upon the bones of them.
It is an interesting feeling to actually acknowledge and shine a light upon this aspect of my motivations toward home ownership. Particularly in light of the “dot com” bust and how those events obliterated previous efforts to do so. I find I am wiser this time ’round; the pattern being deconstructed is not “out there”, but “in here” and, I think, the act of this recognition/realization will insure that, regardless any shifting of outcomes in relation to “this house”, I have found something important and helpful. I fully anticipate we will be living in the house shown below by end of September, but, if this should not for some reason come to pass, I will still have the benefit of these thoughts and the gift of how this process has permitted their rising.
I am happy to be homeward bound.
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