i’m learning about php in spite of myself. which is interesting. all the little tweaks and shifts of themes to get them to do ‘what i want’ instead of ‘what they do’. it seems curious on many levels, as most things are, here.
sometimes, i get annoyed with myself for how all things seem to point to Buddhism lately. especially when something as silly as php and themes and me dinking around with them manages it. but then, i realize, it isn’t them doing it… it’s me. heh.
suchness being a reference to accepting what is, both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ without distinguishing between them. ’embrace the suchness’ of what is, as it is, etc.
of course, i think of this as i’m doing precisely the opposite to this lil theme. and why am i doing it? well, several reasons… (1) because i can, (2) because i want to, (3) a few reasons to do with aesthetic preferences and such.
none of which matter except that *i* want them.
which, if you think about it, is pretty much why we do most anything, isn’t it? stubborn lil egos and desires. heh.
if i miss out on enlightenment for choices in changing my blog template, i reckon i’m just stewed. (grin)
moving on…
it is a good day. actually, it has been a series of good weeks, months even. blergh on not distinguishing. just because i’m working on it doesn’t mean i have to pretend i no longer do it.
I DISTINGUISH. I DISCRIMINATE. I CHOOSE BETWEEN THINGS.
me yelling at myself, of course. sheesh, get OFF the ‘have to be it all now’ kick, will you, woman? i don’t care how much you try, you’re still human. so chill-ax and DEAL.
hah. that’ll get through. mebbe.
of course, the real ‘insight’ is that i don’t have to do or be any different. just be. but that’s so deep all i can do is stare at it under the water at the moment. someday, eh? that’s what striving is for, or so they tell me.
so. anyway. good times.
a loving, caring, tender friend who delights in me in every moment, as i do in him.
a job so much more enjoyable and challenging than the one i recently lost that i feel as if i’ve made another quantum leap. i am positively blissful. stars. i hope it lasts. it has to, this is just too perfect a fit not to… i can’t even tell you why. it just is.
i deem that auspicious.
not much else to say. writing less pointedly about all my ugly bricks and more about being and living. writing more earthy things about the sweet master sergeant. writing lyrics. writing rambles. writing. heh.
i accidently missed the poet’s night at the local library because i can’t count. it was the third thursday. this coming is the fourth. bleh. ah well. there will be next month and i’ll have more to read by then.
hrm. what else. oh. yeah. my left ankle is getting all belligerent on me again. this time, when my insurance hits, i’m trotting myself right over to the doc and getting the full physical and we’re going to figure out what is causing this and put a stop to it. well, ok, maybe just walking slowly… but i’m going.
not much else to report. i’m sure i could babble on a bit, but master sergeant is waiting on the line and well… i ain’t gonna.
so there.
🙂