a very strange happening tonight. about 11pm, a loud knock on the door. asking ‘who is it?’ i hear, ‘County Police!’ (county name removed for privacy)
opening the door after verifying he was, in fact, a policeman, he asks if this is [address] and i confirm it is… he then says, ‘someone here called 911?’ i shook my head. no. i’d not called. he gives me a strange look, ‘someone from this address DID call 911.’ i reiterate that i did not, not only this, i don’t even HAVE a land line. only my cell phone.
he asks if anyone else is here with me. i say no, just me and my two kittens, and invite him in to see for himself. he walks into the doorway, stands there, sees and hears the utter peace of the place and looks at me, confused.
i say, ‘someone is having a joke at your expense, officer. i haven’t called anyone.’ and he replies, ‘yeah, some joke. they called in a rape.’
that sends ice through my veins for a number of reasons, especially at the notion that someone might report a rape at MY address. any number of possibilities cross my mind, and i offer the most logical one, ‘perhaps the dispatcher has the address wrong?’
the officer radios in and asks for confirmation of the address. it is in my building, but several apartments over…. the officer spins on his heel, apologizing briefly as he sprints off to the correct apartment.
i close and rebolt the door and returned to my night… but my thoughts have been with the occupant of that apartment ever since. i am not unfamiliar with the horror of rape, and i feel in this moment deep compassion and sorrow that such things exist in the world and that there are those who delight in them.
spending some time in tonglen, sending what might be sent, i ask the universe to send balm to the one attacked and peace and becoming to the attacker. so many wounds in the world. so many things that cannot be as much as breathed upon by me… i wish more than anything that it were possible, but accepting it is not, breathe all wishes for healing to all who need it.
a heavy moment, this moment. may all waken.