early to bed, early to rise, maybe someday, i’ll be more wise. heh. woke up at 4:30am. so much for seeing more than six hours sleep at a time. lingering after effects of circadian rhythm experimentation some years ago, i rarely sleep more than four hours a night. six is a treat.
uncertain what today brings. looking at the budget, i am torn… furniture or savings? this is an ongoing debate… and while i choose savings every time thusfar, i’m still without savings to speak of… which seems curious. i admit, i’m repaying (slowly) a loan or two, and monthly expenses do not leave a lot of wiggle room, but then, my needs are few, and the notion of furniture is more material want than need. ah well, savings it is… now if only i can keep to it.
i think i’m going to go back to the old method. it used to be, when i kept to my savings plan, i would include a small ‘bonus’ for myself… so, at month end, had i met my goal, i could reward myself. i find i’m missing that sense of reward/accomplishment. hm. perhaps that shoreside trip i mentioned before… that seems a good reward for staying on track.
i’m hopeful for the consulting venture on many levels. it will be good to have a fallback/sideline effort goig once more. these last six years have been something of an anomaly — it is very unusual for me not to have several irons in the fire. i’m finding my comfort zone with returning to that practice, unwilling to have my tranquility depend upon one thing alone. echoes of history, i suppose. never want to depend too much on any one thing, since everything so often tends toward the undependable. then again, that streak of independance has been lacking of late. so a return to it seems a good thing.
i find i wish i had someone in proximity to ‘pal around’ with… the co-workers, while enjoyable, are all younger… the things they enjoy are fun in small doses.
i miss the “dialog!” days. some years ago, i was part of a bbs system that was fairly unique in my experience. people from all walks of life, teaching one another what they had to offer. stars, those were wonderful days. weekly/bi-weekly coffee shop gatherings were the norm… glorious nights of discussion, debate, and sharing. it faded with the popularization of the Internet. i tried some time ago to restore it, but time passes, people change, and the truth of it all meant it was impossible.
these days, i get what little of such manner of sharing as this from a group i enjoy in online gaming. a small ‘house’ of people with similar interests. it isn’t “dialog!” by a long shot, but everyone there is delightful and there are those with whom closeness exists, which is a gift and blessing.
the workday lies ahead, and i suspect it will be boring. a pity, really… the process of waiting to ‘do something’ wears on me slightly. add to this, recent realisations with regard to several things i can’t really speak of here… i suppose in the end, a job is a job after all. i chuckle at myself… you’d think after all this time, that idealism would wane a bit. i suppose i should be happy it does not, as so much of my own abilities depend heavily upon it.
life is an odd thing sometimes. i’d tell you what that means, but it would only make me late for work. perhaps later.