08-06-06, afternoon

it is always good to have a moment of pure, unadultered happiness, laughter, and joy. this one arrived unexpectedly, which makes it all the better. i had to run errands today, pick up groceries, cat food, etc. and, as usual, the trip to the pet store found me indulging all manner of silly impulse buys. something about the thought of kittenish delight sways me every time. they ask so little, give every piece of themselves, and are ever happy to just be. things that are much deserving of indulgence, i think.

so, toys. of course. and food. and litter. and finally, collars, so visitors can tell them apart. i picked out two, one red and one purple, each with a small round bell. cat safe, break-away releases in the event of being stuck or caught upon something.

brought them home and put them on the kittens… and now… both of them… whirling like dervishes, trying to find the bell. strange paw movements and wide-eyed amazed that the bell moves faster than their eyes can track. they spin like dancers in some odd frenzy… and take turns chasing one another’s bells, neither of them realising the one ’round their own neck, taunting the other.

i have laughed until i thought i was going to pass out. i did not expect this response, though i suppose i should have. poor dears. perhaps it is a cruelty to have the bells. human fancy that cats do not appreciate, nosirree, not one bit.

and, as usual, in the moment, other things seen and immediate parallels drawn. how often have we, as humans, spent our time chasing a piece of ourself in another, never realising that all such things chime within us? i recognized that wide-eyed seeking, and after the laughter passed, i recognized as well that manner of swaying, eager, almost frightened-but-not-quite spinning, eyes looking to track, looking for anything that is other to explain the strange compulsion that the thought of the bell brings to us.

i recognize also the thought of placing hands upon the bells seen around another’s neck, as if to capture it is in any way to place hands upon the part of all that is continually missed in the concept of ‘self’.

i sit here and mused on it, as the duel of the jinglebells continues in the next room. i will likely remove the bells. both because it seems cruel and because they are active kittens and the constant jangling is not to be endured. heh.

shifting direction, good news here… the secret project at work has been acquired. much is about to change. i ponder this. there is a small possibility that we will all relocate to austin, texas at some point in the future. maybe. i remember austin as a good town. good music and lots of it. and a strong buddhist community, as research reveals. there are other things that occur, strange parallels, synchroniticies, and possibilities… but i do not set them here. all things as they will be, and in what time they will be, if ever.

i smile. it is enough.

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