tonight, i was reading the words of others, speaking on how they ‘became buddhist’. my own becoming initiated some years ago, though i was ignorant of it. the ‘official’ moment occurred as of a result of meeting someone in january of this year who was buddhist and, upon investigation of the traditions and some fairly strange synchronicities, it settled over me like a comfortable cloak that i have delighted ever since to wear.
i read some of these accounts, people who are much more learned than i, or so it seems… and i wonder if ever i will be as immersed as they seem in it. i suppose it sounds strange, but outside of the Four Noble Truths, meditation, the Eightfold Path, and reading/study, i do not have the same drive i see in so many others. there was a point when i undertook to find a teacher, but the outcome was such that i no longer feel it required. which seems strange, because so many buddhist insist a root guru is required. i do not feel it so.
on the other hand, there was a period of time when i was seriously compelled to seek a monastic life. this finally passed when both the one who was teacher and another from one of the forums i frequent (one whose opinion and learning i deeply respect) counseled me not so much against such a thing, but to be more patient and see if the compulsion lived over time. wise counsel, indeed. the urge is still here, but it is tempered by many things, so i do hold and adopt more of a ‘wait and see’ mindset.
i came to this entry intending to say quite a bit more… but it does not seem there is more that needs to be said. rather than ramble, i choose to simply leave it here and if there is a need, will write more another time.
i make a note to myself to write at some point of how the embrace of the Triple Jewels has changed my life, habits, et al. but… another time.