it’s safe to say that making yourself think, really think, about things is work.

as the title indicates, it’s been settled. i’m definitely heading to seattle… the only question is when and whether or not i’ll have work before i get there.

my head is swimming with thoughts; schools of unruly fish in an ocean of odd currents and riptides. it would seem i am a fisherman in this moment, net and basket, swooping to scoop up rainbow glimmering quicksilver flashes, draw them closer and study them.

it is odd, but it seems most of my dreams arrive in naps rather than night time of late.

(recording available: a-frayed-knot.mp3) read on for the text…

oh. my. stars. you want to hear something funny? i’ve just had a lesson in remembering that the world is always willing to surprise you. and that true dreams never really die, even when you’re convinced they have done so. perhaps especially then.

well. the spate of grit has passed and the ‘voice of reason’ is now center stage. contemplating what’s possible versus what i wish were possible. trying to find the happy medium.

well. today was the last day at the office. friday i pick up my last two days of pay and from there, it’s simply a matter of calculating how far X amount of dollars will get me.

merlot. once it was my favorite. now it’s just a broken promise that i’m sipping because i’m tired of pretending that what i’m swallowing matters so long as it isn’t hemlock.

stars. someone asked elsewhere what (if any!!!) difference there was between narcissism and healthy self love. having had my own horrid encounter with a narcissist and still tending the wounds and dealing with the aftermath, it was easy enough to give my thoughts on the matter.