this, given in reply to someone talking about ghosts, is very likely the best ‘in a rather lumpy nutshell’ summary of what i believe that i have ever managed. hence, placing it here.

i’m sitting here trying to figure out if i’m the one whose out in the weeds. if it really is unreasonable that i should feel hurt. or if it’s just unreasonable to expect someone else to know it, understand it, and not try to act like nothing’s changed.

several names occur, but none actually fit. hence, nameless. which, i suppose, is the best name of all.

“Once you make a friend, a friend never leaves you, even to death. So a friend is really hard to find.” –Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn’t based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don’t see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision. This is true friendship. […]

you know, all my life, i’ve put up with people telling me what i need. and i think i’m just about tired of it.

i wrote someone the other day asking for good vibes because i’m feeling a bit down. today, they arrived. i actually felt them. which prompted the following to the place where the initial request was set, given in response to a kind and very tender post that brought tears and smiles.

had cause today to follow up with a group i haven’t thought about or dealt with in years… heh. the skeptic’s society. their ‘mission statement’ so to speak, lives here: http://www.skeptic.com/about_us/discover_skepticism.html and it was to this item that i was motivated to reply as follows…

well. that didn’t last as long or hurt as much as it used to.

i have to admit, i have just about been convinced that i am going to be alone the rest of my life.

well. after all the work toward alternarrative, it may not be a thing i must push. this place is established, busy, eclectic, beautiful, AND it is creative commons! http://wildpoets.com my corner is at http://wildpoets.com/Fenix – though i’m not sure if i’m going to submit the old stuff, only the new, or some splintering between. hrm.