i sit here and am surprised that i’m surprised to have a string of good days ‘all in a row’. i chuckle. the perspective is shifting and i am lightly astounded how truly ‘down’ i have been the last months. i look behind, briefly, and the dark cloud hanging there seems amazing to me. my creation, it is much uglier from here than it seemed when i stood under it. i shake my head and wonder at the things i do to myself. having spent some days reiterating ‘things i know’ and need to more than intellectually acknowledge, the effort […]
Broken-Hearted Warrior
“It is only through letting our heart break that we discover something unexpected: The heart cannot actually break, it can only break open… To live with a broken-open heart is to experience life full strength… When the heart breaks open, it marks the beginning of a real love affair with this world. It is a broken-hearted love affair, rather than the conventional kind based on hope and expectation. Only in this fearless love that can respond to life’s pain as well as its beauty can we be of real help to ourselves or anyone else in this difficult age. The […]
06-08-06, am
today is a better day for many reasons, and yet a pensive day for two. today is the birthday of a friend who used to be a lover and is soon to become a stranger. i have, for this last month, tried to tell myself that you just don’t throw away an eight year relationship. eight years. a friend for six, more for two, and now… it is as if i never really knew them. today is their birthday. this last month has been little more than guilt trips and passive-aggressive accusations by email. occasionally by phone. it’s true, you […]
06-05-06, a.m.
two birthdays coming up over the next seven days… the first, on the 8th, of someone who is slowly drifting from friendship to disdain… a pensive thing, but seemingly unchangeable without an act i am unwilling to perform. the second, on the 11th, of someone who is slowly drifting from possibility to impossibility… which is almost as pensive, but for the fact that they are so precious a presence in my life that all but outright abandonment will be endured of them. my own birthday arrives in august. needless to say, i have absolutely no intention of telling anyone when […]
on Cyrano, a favorite movie
for some years, i have worked to see the 1951 classic ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’ starring Jose Ferrar moved to DvD. for years, i have had the movie on VHS (even though i no longer own a television, nor even a VHS player). when last i spoke with the folks who owned the rights, they told me if i could give them a list of 350 names – people interested in owning the movie on DvD – they would see about pressing it and taking it to market. that was done with a week. six years later, two outlets offer the […]
a contemplation upon the Three Jewels: The Sangha
[ed. note: this intial few paragraphs are maintained as introduction to those who may arrive to a single page rather than seeing this as part three of a series. for those following the series, these introductory paragraphs are now italicized, kindly feel free to scroll down to where you find this ends and read from the point of, “tonight, i contemplate the third of the Three, The Sangha.”] as part of an effort to learn, i undertake a good amount of research on the nature and meaning of what it is to take refuge in the Three Jewels and to […]
a contemplation upon the Three Jewels: The Buddha
as part of an effort to learn, i undertake a good amount of research on the nature and meaning of what it is to take refuge in the Three Jewels and to more deeply understand what they represent and how they provide that which is most helpful to the process of becoming. at every turn, thinking i grasp the concept, i find instead more to refine it, more to deepen it, and more to add to its luster. it is an interesting and deeply delightful thing, this seemingly infinite manner of understanding that as much reflects meaning as it defines […]
[IP] A compelling case for virtual property rights
A recent paper by Joshua Fairfield of Indiana University School of Law (Bloomington) caught my eye. I can honestly say it is the most salient and well thought out piece of work to date on the subject of why virtual property should be protected: Link to the summary and download mirrors. Link to the paper direct (PDF format, Adobe Reader required) The times, they are a changin’… I for one am eager for it.
Peeking through the shell – v
The weeks of training passed like sunlight over the hillside, battles with all manner of prey already merging into shadow along the halls of memory. I rested by the shrine of the city, the day warm upon my flanks as I contemplated my progress and considered my destiny. From Chiconis to Dralk, to the human cities to great Tazoon itself, I had wandered much of the free world in search of learning. Those first days of almost frightful desperation seemed somehow amusing to me. Now… unconsiciously, I flexed a claw and watched with satisfaction the deep gouge that appeared in […]
Peeking through the shell – iv
The journey to the trainers was relatively uneventful, rolling hills of green marked by dirt paths and the chiming of the crystals — all combining to make my trip through Chiconis peaceful and enjoyable. I followed the line of hatchlings up the hill and over the suspended bridge to the lairs of the elders who guide our learning, skittering to a stop, my nose unceremoniously plowing a trough at the feet of Sandiva. The giggles of the other hatchlings raising my scales slightly, but the warm chuckle of the mistress soothing the sting of their ridicule, “Greetings, Beryl… have you […]