Playing with Perplexity is fun. I think I’m going to build a library of conversations in which it demonstrates me back to myself; this is how this autistic brain uses LLM/AI ethically but also how I have traditionally taught myself by rapidly implementing meta-communication that lays down shared track ahead of the actual conversation. I can do this with LLM because LLM doesn’t mandate I adhere to neuronormative protocol, just a logical expression by language that, for the first time in my entire life, is actually getting my syntax and phrasing and everything; it gets my levels in language in […]
Universal Reality – An Ouroboros
In the beginning, there was nothing. No matter, no energy, no space. Just an infinite expanse of possibility. And then, in a burst of creative potential, the universe emerged. The cosmic dance began, with particles and waves swirling together to form the first hints of structure. We don’t know how or why, really; lots of people claim this knowledge, but faith is still blind and science is more about probability than certainty, for all that humans regularly confuse the ‘effective certainty’ of an exponential probability and treat them the same. As the universe evolved, so did its complexity. Matter coalesced […]
Healthcare was fun today. A first.
I had an unexpectedly enjoyable time today, when my ultrasound technician introduced me to her shadowing trainee today. While they did not ask me if I minded or wanted another human involved, it was done so authoritatively that I could easily anticipate it would be an argument to insist upon consent and I didn’t intend to spend more time in the imaging facility than required, thank you. That issue set firmly aside, the remainder was enjoyable because I made them both answer questions about what they could and couldn’t see, thus confirming they didn’t see certain things I was quite […]
Neuronormative bias in online communications
As I navigate online spaces, I often find myself hyper-verbal and highly engaged. My words flow freely, and my enthusiasm for topics is contagious. But despite my best efforts, I’ve noticed that some people misinterpret my intentions. They assume I’m dominating conversations or derailing discussions because my input can’t be contained. But the truth is, my hyper-verbosity isn’t driven by a desire to dominate. It’s simply how my autistic brain processes and expresses itself. In rapid-fire chat environments like Discord, forums, social media, and online communities, I thrive on being able to share my thoughts and ideas quickly and efficiently. […]
Lingua Bingua Suckma Thingma
Heraclitus and Epictetus are my two, favorite, dusty, dead Greek dudes (I like many more, but these two are personal canon favorites). Both were known for their ‘odd’ language use and I choose to believe were of similar perspective, if not neurotype, as me. My man, Heraclitus, had a grip on my concept of paradox as the ultimate herald of any existent, Manifest Truth. Standford’s Encyclopedia of Philosophy as of Dec. 2023 sums it thus: “The exact interpretation of these doctrines is controversial, as is the inference often drawn from this theory that in the world as Heraclitus conceives it […]
Rumination – Psychiatric Therapist Required
I wish I could find a psychiatrist who would just let me tell them my entire life story before getting into “the work”. My life story IS exceptional and in defiance of all neuronormativity, I am, too. But in context, so too may say all humanity. The unique experiences far outweigh the shared ones. I believe, feel, and think that my story can be helpful to others. I just don’t have the brain to write it all. So I guess what I really want is for some psychiatrist to make me a case study and tell the world about how […]
Thoughts on #Therapy$Me & Then Some
My last attempt at formal therapy was with a LSW because I couldn’t afford a psychologist, let alone the psychiatrist I know I actually need. She was younger than me, which is no longer difficult in the domain/industry and not an issue here. What did become an issue was that her life experiences were so happily neurotypical that she genuinely could not understand me or how I talk about my life and the current shape of my memory in relation to a cohesive narrative. So I began trying to educate myself and, at the time, I was active on Twitter. […]
The Rise of Synthetic Social Media: A Threat to Human Discourse & Empowerment
In recent years, social media platforms are increasingly relying on Language Models (LLMs) and Artificial Intelligence (AI) bots to impersonate human users online. This phenomenon is not only concerning but also symptomatic of a larger trend that threatens the very fabric of social discourse and our ability to engage with information in meaningful ways. The driving force behind this development is the desire to reduce human involvement in social media engagement, relegating us to mere responders rather than active participants. By automating interactions, these platforms can optimize their content dissemination strategies, minimize moderation efforts, and maximize ad revenue. The result […]
Familial Non Grata
I keep seeing videos of kids getting holiday presents that are letters from their foster families telling them they want to adopt them and make them part of their family. It reminds me of the houseparents from the children’s home I was in from age 5 to 11; they gave me a letter in 2008 of this nature over a holiday dinner at their house. I was so happy and was ready to agree as soon as I finished reading it. But they told me they wanted to wait until they figured out how to do this without compromising their […]
Turning the row (aeration)
It feels as if I will struggle with letting go of my daughter and grand-daughters for the rest of my life. I cut contact because I was tired of having my needs invalidated and of being cut out and left out of their lives. Of being told I couldn’t have access or enjoy my grand-daughters because my daughter thinks I am ‘unsafe’. Of being told that I will never be allowed closeness and care in action rather than only words. Of being told I was abusive and neglectful (I wasn’t – this is attribution error and deliberate mis-attribution / misfeasance). […]