Once upon a time, I had a friend. I met them in an online game, which is no longer as odd was it was when this occurred. Over years, we became long distance friends; then, when I was broken down on the side of the highway halfway from hell to home, they were a rescue and succor for a time. I gradually pulled myself back to my feet and the friendship continued and deepened. Until the day when, suddenly, and for reasons I still do not understand, it ended. From roughly 2001 to 2022, ours was a friendship by game, […]
Games Congress Plays: How Lawmakers’ Tactics Undermine Democracy & Enable Oligarchy
When you think about Congress, you might imagine lawmakers working tirelessly behind the scenes to pass new laws and improve your community. But that’s not always what happens. Usually, members of Congress spend more time playing games than actually getting things done. In reality, House Representatives and Senators use election schedules to maintain their power and influence – usually at the expense of democracy and the common good. Here are some of the tactics they use to build their personal brand, advance their legislative agenda, and keep their party in line – all while allowing business and lobby to effectively […]
The Harmful Truth: Why Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and Positive Behavioral Support (PBS) are Damaging to Autistic People
Imagine being forced into a life of constant monitoring, manipulation, and control. This is the reality for many autistic individuals who have been subjected to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and Positive Behavioral Support (PBS) therapies. These approaches may seem harmless at first glance, but they can be extremely harmful and many aspects of both meet Geneva Convention criteria for torture(1). In this article, we’ll delve into the dark truth behind ABA and PBS, exploring how these therapies can cause physical and emotional trauma, leading to a degradation of overall health. ABA: Torture by Design?ABA is often marketed as a “scientific” […]
I am…
I am, said the universeI am, said the planetI am, said the animalI am, said myself Without agreementWithout acceptanceWithout acknowledgementWithout, all life existing Being is not a conversationBeing is not a convictionBeing is not a conversionBeing is simply existing All senses, receivingAll stimuli, embodiedAll experience, unfoldingA fractal across infinity It is enough, beingAll are a part, never apartDemanding nothing, I amDemanding everything, I am not Just being, breathingJust emergent, experiencingJust embodying, livingJust expressing, ebullience
Ruminations on estrangements
My children and I are estranged and have been for some time. My son, now age 43, since he was 11 and very unlikely to ever be resolved/reconciled. I allowed his step-mother to adopt him in 1993 as it was the only way I knew they would stop manipulating him and stressing him over his visitations with me. My daughter, now age 36, was more on and off again until roughly 2023, when it became clear that she only wants to be involved with me by phone or email, and being more than willing to insisting upon saying harmful, hurtful, […]
Old Stream Intro/Themesong
Earlier this year, I started a new stream only to discover that the weekly stay wifi couldn’t handle it. Spent a day making this intro for it, but now it’s just another marker in the field. Archiving here for “posterity” and the occasional social media reference (I have many skills, sure wish someone would hire me for any of them).
The Toxic Legacy of “Lazy”: Unpacking the Eugenicist Roots of Productivity Pressure & Oppression
In today’s fast-paced society, the word “lazy” has become a ubiquitous term used to describe individuals who fail to meet societal expectations of productivity and efficiency. However, this seemingly innocuous label conceals a complex web of eugenicist attitudes and oppressive behaviors that have far-reaching consequences for human value and well-being. This essay will argue that the concept of “laziness” is deeply rooted in eugenicist ideologies and serves as a tool for oppression, disproportionately affecting individuals with disabilities and neurodivergence. The term “lazy” has its roots in 19th-century eugenics, a pseudo-scientific movement that sought to improve human society through selective breeding […]
I was a bad mother, and that’s ok.
From the perspective of my children, I was an aloof, emotionally unavailable mother… I was a bad mother. I get how and why this is how they believe, feel, and think; when you’re a kid, all you know is what you need and do not receive. Things like histories, circumstances, and the realities of an adult being their own person just don’t enter the frame. Often, even after growing up, they never do. I know this because it’s how I felt, too. My parents were horribly abusive, deeply broken humans. They were fractured in youth by their parents, who likely […]
Vent: Ablest, ageist, allistic, discriminatory companies need not respond, ever.
I do not know how much longer I can do ‘this’; constantly striving and trying, with lack of any progress in outcomes. I have sought work since 2017 but this industry (technology) will no longer hire me. Whether it’s due to my age, my gender, my lack of a degree, it’s all so specious; with over 30 years of experience in-hand with companies whose names are well known, there’s no reason for this incessant exclusion and rejection from consideration. I could be doing amazing things, and I’m not because humans are so biased and perfection-seeking. It makes me angry. And […]
Lost & Found: My Journey Through Chaos and Discovery of Myself (#Neurodivergent)
It’s been a few years since I was on LinkedIn. It’s been a few years since I felt alive. For some time, I felt like I’d vanished from all knowing. No one knew where I was or what I was going through. It was as if I’d become invisible. And in many ways, I had. My identity, my sense of self, was fragmented and lost amid the chaos. You see, 2017 hit me like a sledgehammer; Allostatic (over)load and an ACE of 10/10 finally caught up with me and I just… crashed. That sentence does not do the horror show […]