In the beginning, there was nothing. No matter, no energy, no space. Just an infinite expanse of possibility. And then, in a burst of creative potential, the universe emerged. The cosmic dance began, with particles and waves swirling together to form the first hints of structure. We don’t know how or why, really; lots of people claim this knowledge, but faith is still blind and science is more about probability than certainty, for all that humans regularly confuse the ‘effective certainty’ of an exponential probability and treat them the same. As the universe evolved, so did its complexity. Matter coalesced […]
Healthcare was fun today. A first.
I had an unexpectedly enjoyable time today, when my ultrasound technician introduced me to her shadowing trainee today. While they did not ask me if I minded or wanted another human involved, it was done so authoritatively that I could easily anticipate it would be an argument to insist upon consent and I didn’t intend to spend more time in the imaging facility than required, thank you. That issue set firmly aside, the remainder was enjoyable because I made them both answer questions about what they could and couldn’t see, thus confirming they didn’t see certain things I was quite […]
Neuronormative bias in online communications
As I navigate online spaces, I often find myself hyper-verbal and highly engaged. My words flow freely, and my enthusiasm for topics is contagious. But despite my best efforts, I’ve noticed that some people misinterpret my intentions. They assume I’m dominating conversations or derailing discussions because my input can’t be contained. But the truth is, my hyper-verbosity isn’t driven by a desire to dominate. It’s simply how my autistic brain processes and expresses itself. In rapid-fire chat environments like Discord, forums, social media, and online communities, I thrive on being able to share my thoughts and ideas quickly and efficiently. […]
Lingua Bingua Suckma Thingma
Heraclitus and Epictetus are my two, favorite, dusty, dead Greek dudes (I like many more, but these two are personal canon favorites). Both were known for their ‘odd’ language use and I choose to believe were of similar perspective, if not neurotype, as me. My man, Heraclitus, had a grip on my concept of paradox as the ultimate herald of any existent, Manifest Truth. Standford’s Encyclopedia of Philosophy as of Dec. 2023 sums it thus: “The exact interpretation of these doctrines is controversial, as is the inference often drawn from this theory that in the world as Heraclitus conceives it […]
Rumination – Psychiatric Therapist Required
I wish I could find a psychiatrist who would just let me tell them my entire life story before getting into “the work”. My life story IS exceptional and in defiance of all neuronormativity, I am, too. But in context, so too may say all humanity. The unique experiences far outweigh the shared ones. I believe, feel, and think that my story can be helpful to others. I just don’t have the brain to write it all. So I guess what I really want is for some psychiatrist to make me a case study and tell the world about how […]
Lost & Found: My Journey Through Chaos and Discovery of Myself (#Neurodivergent)
It’s been a few years since I was on LinkedIn. It’s been a few years since I felt alive. For some time, I felt like I’d vanished from all knowing. No one knew where I was or what I was going through. It was as if I’d become invisible. And in many ways, I had. My identity, my sense of self, was fragmented and lost amid the chaos. You see, 2017 hit me like a sledgehammer; Allostatic (over)load and an ACE of 10/10 finally caught up with me and I just… crashed. That sentence does not do the horror show […]
Thought (IFS)
I know all my parts. I never had the luxury of self-deception. I can and do validate myself every day and usually for most of the day, because caring for myself in the face of all this casual UN-caring by the world and others, inclusive of family, has made it clear I must do so if I wish to survive. Yes, I am angry. But I am not unreasonably so, nor do I allow it to control my balance or being. My anger, my fears, my regrets, my resilience, all of my qualities and parts get their cuddle, their time […]
Tales For The Leet: Romeo & Juliet (media thoughts)
During silliness tonight over at RenMakesMusic‘s discord channel, in trying to point out the GOAT of early internet memery, I linked up “Tales For The Leet: Romeo & Juliet”. But then, I realized, that’s not the original, it can’t be, because Tales For The Leet was not made in 2011, but originated in the range of 1999-2004 by maker Chris Coutts’s own works of the time, fortunately preserved in the Wayback Machine at the following locations respectively (Thanks, Ruffle): 1.The original, as captured on date indicated in upper right corner of page after the jump – https://web.archive.org/web/20061230062545/http://uninteresting.myby.co.uk/noeffort/romjul.htm 2. The follow-up, […]
So much dust! (rebuilding)
After years, several domain moves, and a slew of attacks by life, this place is back… kind of. (read on…)