It’s getting harder to manage my many health conditions and their comorbidities. I cannot seem to find work, and our network is basically myself and my husband. We’ve both tried to improve both social and professional networks, but have not seen much success. I keep applying and they keep ghosting or auto-rejecting me. I lack the mobility to do other work or I would be doing that. I’ve tried marketing my writing along various paths and nothing comes of it. I no longer know what to do. If I could math well enough to get my degree, I’d try that, […]
Thoughts on this moment – April 2025
The biggest crime this administration and its rooted eugenics, xenophobia, and insecurity (i.e., supremacist) have, are, and seemingly will continue to commit is an active and vehement conditioning of young AMABs on the matter of their ‘right’ to control, dominate, and possess (context: effective ownership) AFAB humans. While significant elements of this process include the explicit and public same against any/all minority, culturally different, Neurodivergent, Disabled, and/or Religiously different humans, the goal is to maintain the historical position of authoritarian power as both a (mythical) ‘race’ called ‘white’ and an equally mythical ‘natural’ or ‘biological’ supremacy as ‘The Binary Progenitor’ […]
Half past noon, from distance
half past noon, sixteenth the light of my life came forth yet I am shadowed struggle over years gone unrecognized only the mistakes made into these bricks a wall between two beings such selfish mortar does not life hurt all no being without such pain you think you’re alone hands once reached through brick slapped away incessantly old dogs learn new tricks distant uncaring be careful what you wish for all life has limits lessons returning time and the years will teach you all you now avoid time comes for us all I cannot be immortal so I tell you […]
#Registered TYS and thoughts
It’s April 15, 2025, and the United States is collapsing, practically in real-time. There is an authoritarian, dictatorial, and utterly vindictive man child holding the highest position in our country. They were elected to it by the fascist, racist, and generally self-centered ‘white’ ignorance, a majority within the country. But it seems the federal government has held many fascist, racist, and self-centered ‘white’ intelligentsia for decades; seemingly waiting for the opportunity to ‘restore’ themselves to power and return any who are not part of this deviant ‘us’ to sub-humanized placements, beholden to them for life itself. This pattern has been […]
The working list – ‘family’
I want to be part of your life. I want to be part of my grand-daughter’s life. I want to have regular contact and communication with each of you. I want to be considered, included, and important in your lives. I want to be cared for the same as any other family member. I want to be allowed to care for and be around each of you. I feel unloved and unwanted. I feel as if you do not want me to be part of your life. I feel as if you only want me around when I can receive […]
And then, the writer’s block seemed to vanish.
The content that caused this deluge may be viewed here, but the reader should not presume the connections and thoughts will be immediately traceable. This is an intentional oversight for purposes of general respect of others privacy. My prediction for neural net autonomous, truly artificial intelligence made a leap forward toward reality recently, courtesy of a company called IntuiCell. My assertion over some decades, fed by an interest in computing and neural networks, an avid consumption of hard sci-fi, and my own career in analysis and product ownership is as follows: True artificial intelligence will arise not from programmatic systems […]
Paradoxes – Haiku & Tanka
great thunder as i spoke my truth just a perspective rumbling low cloud ground resonating what is a tock of the wheel a march to the kalpa edge a man coughs outside my door
Track Title: Promises (Recall)
ASCAP Registration #: 929487026 This is an angry song. If you are someone who might have reason to feel hurt by anger you should choose something else. Maybe the early stuff. Very early stuff. For the rest of you, demo followed by lyric, below. Life is a two-way street, they say Whether we drive or walk our way Give and take come what may Keeps relationships free from fray Eroded and gone I find my trust Ignored and shut out, its ashes and dust It should be no surprise, I do now what I must Insist to set me aside, […]
On Being An Outlier
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an an outlier—not just in the neurotypical world but even within neurodivergent spaces where I thought I might find understanding. I’m a hyper-verbal, hyper-empathic, flat-affect individual whose mental capability has always measured “extremely high”. These traits don’t just make me unique; they often leave me on the edges of communities where I desperately want to belong. I’ve spent decades navigating this dynamic, and while I’ve built spaces of my own—a blog, ASCAP-registered lyrics, and posts on platforms like Bluesky and Discord—I still encounter the same painful patterns. Conversations go silent when […]
My thoughts on “Fight Oligarchy” tour stop: Vegas (1st Half Reaction Audio)
I am ignorant too, just like any other human. I mis-named this woman and I should have looked it up before getting started, but the thought was overflowing and I made a call and this is the result. I will do better. My apologies to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Congresswoman for the Bronx and Queens.