i have this friend of a friend, she lives in Milwaukee her husband left her last year, used alcohol as excuse to get away from responsibility, away from the little girls all under age seven, hungry for hugs at first she used to say she wished he’d get sober but then he did, and he still didn’t return i was the one who had to listen to all the angry words, heartbreak and betrayal because she was over 40 not as exciting as the woman who hadn’t spent the last seven years birthing then tending his daughters i listened until […]

this morning, about 9ish, i wrote the following brief piece about today…

every now and then i have one of those really awkward conversations with someone who wants to see me happier. you know the kind… they mean well and you know it, but it feels kind of like being under the spotlight and not having the answers and feeling somewhat dumb because you feel like you should.

humans have a good bit of issue with being consistent.

the only thing worse than suspecting is knowing. no. wait. that’s not quite right. the only thing worse than suspecting is knowing and not yet having it confirmed.

i’ve always told myself that one of these days, i wasn’t going to have to sit here and ponder which thing i’m going to do without to make it through the next week.

saturday night, no longer a full moon, and too much coffee. hah. no telling what’s next… but i predict a ramble. not sure the topic yet, just emptying the thoughts and waiting to see what comes next…

www.tenthousandvisions.com that is all.

below, a teaching by H.E. Garchen Rinpoche. i am becoming less surprised at the timeliness of these arriving to my eyes.

email from my son. contemplating my reply. up too late after a long day. moon full, tides surging and generally discombobulated. oddly, smiling anyway.