every now and then, i receive a gift from the universe that so completely comforts and nourishes that i am boggled for it.

i should be sleeping. but as is usual after the gathering, i am weary without slumber. i know within scant minutes of placing head to pillow, i will be asleep… but i linger and am reluctant to release consciousness… moments slipping into memories, but not yet fully so, i inhale the scent of them, roses, all, and am drunk with contentment and peace.

thoughts of the forest remained with me all today. even in my gaming. even in my afternoon meditation and then, nap. even now. for some reason i have felt pulled to it for a time now… from the moment i thought about road-tripping again to this very moment.

puttered around outside for a bit this morning. the sky is clear, cobalt brilliance. the air has that crisp feeling that speaks to the season’s change, and i remembered as i was driving how this used to be the time of year i most enjoyed to go camping in the mountains.

spent some time with my daughter today. she took me shopping. insisted on buying me a suit to interview in… bought me lunch… we came home and shared the online gallery of baby photos, hers and mine. laughing, being close, and talking about things we’d like to do on some far flung someday.

well, rent will be paid for october, which is good. not much else to say at the moment, i continue to pop out resumes, will (maybe) be able to buy an ‘interview suit’ next week, and most of the spasming over recent changes has passed.

the morning raking over coals that is the job search is done. updated and hung the latest virtual version on the line. hah. mental image of clean laundry in the sunny breeze and how odd it is to hope someone will like the sheets as much as you do.

not too long ago, someone gave to me a concept they called ‘blind spots’. usually, they used them as excuses for poor behavior and cruelty. but on occasion, there was insight in discussions about them, the most acute of which was the statement that to truly see into one’s blind spot was to hover on the edge of either dissolution or change.

i have been staying up waaay too late recently. sleeping in too late as well. i’ve got the ends of the day all snarled up. coffee at noon as i pop out more resumes and consider various options. late night conversations with distant friends who suddenly find me awake when they are (time zones being what they are, you know).

laid down to take a nap, as is common before the weekend gathering. and, as is common of late, had a dream that has just now awakened me. couldn’t get to the computer right away, had to do something, so instead, took the hand-held recorder to catch it and now, some minutes later, back to the machine, transcribe it here.