I am an apple, cored my seeds, now racing from me my energy, a fruit, desiccated I rest closer than breath to the ancestral tree It is the way of things, I think; all life feeds off of living, feeds off its environment, feeds off of whatever is slow enough to be captured, to be caught, and consumed. I remember racing. I remember the frenetic and flush feeling of being filled with passion. I remember that even the missteps were imbued with a certain delight – mistakes along a path were yet progress along a path – any progress was delightful […]
Liberation
For the record – you were not abandoned. This is what being abandoned is like: https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-feel-like-to-be-abandoned-by-your-mother Also, you were not emotionally neglected. This is what emotional neglect is like: https://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/emoionally-absent-mother You were wanted. You were cared for. You were loved. Significant effort, care, and time were devoted to you from the day of your birth right up until February 15th of 2018. Was I perfect? Far from it. Did I get it right, all the time? Hardly. Was there room for improvement, learning, and compromise? Always. Did I ever tell you I was sorry I had you… or that I […]
A thought of thread
I remember my mother, in the deep of night, as I slept. A brief memory, but dense with the richness of her truth.
Elaboration: False Narratives
A false narrative is a perspective on events that does not include nor address the factual elements of those events. Succinctly, a view containing one or more fundamental attribution errors. For example, to say it did not rain in Seattle on May 2, 1986 if one did not verify/validate the various sources of factual, meteorological data present, would be to create a false narrative. That one may believe it rained at that location on that date is an opinion, not a fact. A fact is created when a given number of credible experts (in context) establish and concur on the […]
Business, as usual (OpEd)
8:17am PST – I’m sitting here listening to a government official grilling a corporate representative on hate speech and how/when/if it is removed.
Come Now, The Ides of March
Cusp of life and line of death, the infamous midpoint at which debts are due; the ledger stands balanced, impeccable. Terms fulfilled, contract complete, thank you for your support. Cut and dry, transcriptional, but it turns out facts can be ignored. The warming air of a coming Spring, rising to meet the Ides; so too, the compelling notion that it is time for business less usual. The mind rests, which is as good a start as any.
Life is a mostly internal experience.
I forget who said it, but “they” said something along the line of, “Once your every dream comes true, what is left?” I always took it to mean that having dreams wasn’t a bad thing, but putting them higher than one’s day-to-day enjoyment probably isn’t wise. Of course, this flies completely in the face of most of the world; all the rules and methods and plans and processes to get money, grow money, save money. It’s funny, if you think about it: We become convinced that it is possible to know a sense of fullness, of richness, or of delight […]
Autotelic
Seed / Egg / Life I am very much that autotelic one and it is as well that I am; my interests and fascinations are odd and blended, my delights seem woefully unattractive to others. They are enjoyed, regardless (though this seems usually to engender negative response in the world around me). The glorious exception to this, what I have known as “life’s rule”, is the sweet, soft, shining light that is my husband, J. This is, to the best of my ability to consider it, perfection in this life. So much so that all the swirling detritus and dogma […]
Note to self: MMO analysis points (industry)
As the MMO genre continues to evolve in (what is now) a much more mutable industry, there are increasing signs that its stability as a genre will finally cross the threshold from closed to open persistence. The additions of data, machine, and semantic analysis are coming along in refining how well development and publishing houses can forecast (or validate) revenue, and those concepts are (albeit excruciatingly slowly) beginning to enter product design thinking. Look for more high differentiators and innovators to push the expectation of online and offline play, choice of public or private servers, and even connected-but-disparate worlds as current themes of […]
Flutter
There is a place where nothing is; all being and life extending and extruded, and spasming senses tremble for sensation that is not. A great and terrifying paradox – the ALL THAT IS NOT – within which no name can stand, no label will stick, and no boundary, be declared. It cannot fit in words, as even this contradictory paragraph deftly demonstrates. All truths are contradictory and paradoxical in the ultimate presentation. Not because that’s how they are, but because that’s how we are; stunted and blocked by our dualities, our dichotomies. All experience broken upon the fulcrum of perception, […]