So. I’m diabetic. Well, there’s a 95% probability that I am. The remaining 5% is that it’s a reaction to the combination of weight and a sedentary lifestyle (gee, thanks, 17 years misdiagnosis). They’ve put me on Metformin to get the blood sugar under control. I’m slated for a class on dietary changes and how to use this glucose monitor, then it’s shifting eating habits and to the gym with me (well, hopefully; I don’t get the decision there until June 9th). This is my first night on Metformin and I’m here to tell you — it sucks. I have […]

Well. Lose one problem and gain another, isn’t that just life? I finally get a solid path out of 17 years of pain only to discover that somewhere in those years, I’ve become diabetic. I suppose in the overall scheme of things, it could be worse, but it kind of feels like one of those “aw, fuck, man, now this?” things at the moment. Doctor’s visit is on the 21st and I have to essentially eat dirt until then because the counts are so high right now that I am at risk. (I won’t bother scaring anyone by saying of […]

It’s official, I have a new apartment. Bellevue is a lovely place and I have found a wonderful 2/1 smack in the middle of it. Less than five minutes from 405, surrounded by social goodness (including not one, but two specialty massage places in the same block! One, swedish medicinal and the other, a Japanese style foot massage/reflexology studio); tea/coffee shop just at the door, free wi-fi in the common areas, art/craftsman/antique outlets on the doorstep and stretching for blocks in every direction, numerous restaurants, shops, and cubbies filled with interesting things to explore. Then! There’s the commercial mini-district with […]

Another house tour at 10, and an apartment at 1:30, then likely the remainder of the day in the area of both just enjoying being “out and about”. I find I’m feeling more social of late; even if it is gadding about on my own. Oddness, that, since I was just in the “meh” place less than three days ago in relation to it. (shrug) Impermanence, eh? Rolling with it. My daughter sent me a day at the spa for Mother’s Day, but I’m not fool enough to try and schedule this weekend. I think I’ll save it for next […]

I have watched with varying levels of bemusement over the last days as someone has shifted and wriggled around in their self-definitions as a result of recent events. They went from “pretty content” to “pretty happy” to “very happy” as if, somehow, declaring it so makes it so. What I know of this one and their situation tells me clearly this is denial and an attempt to shore themselves up; you know, the whole “say it and make it true” process. I hope they succeed but, given what I’ve seen of the pathology and the contributing circumstances of their life, […]

This is the time of doctors and tests. Bleh. I can’t say I’m a fan, but I suppose it’s required if one wants to keep things together and in good operating order. I’ve got the last batch of visits spread across these last weeks of May and (hopefully) nothing more until this time next year. The sugar counts are not where they should be, and the arthritis is giving me fits and, on top of it all, the flare that occured whilst house hunting has not abated. So… dermatology for the flare and some older issues in need of revisiting […]

in no particular order and half asleep to boot: – may 21st. can’t wait. will, but don’t like it. heh. – new apartment. maybe rental house. will know friday, but definitely moving. excellent! – it didn’t take as much as i thought it might to get over that. hurray! – no, actually, i don’t think i’ll be giving away things you don’t deserve. you want something meaningful from/of me? earn it. – june 8th will be five years since one and two years since another and almost twelve years since the first and you know what? i’ve never felt better. […]

Today is a sulky day. Not me, mind you, the weather. It’s all gray, over-cast, barometric pressure fluxing like a geriatric trying to hula-hoop. I am riding the waves of ache and pain and comforting myself with Ibuprofen and caffiene. Thus far, it is working, so I am content. The semester ends today and finals are in…. I aced the thesis work in both classes, but tanked the formal exam in one. As I’ve said elsewhere, it’s kind of nice to be able to tank a test and still wind up with a high B. (I do not test well, but I’m […]

Tonight is a bit of a wistful thing. I’m not completely sure why, but given today’s reflection on things, it is most likely due to the increasing distance from what was once seen as a hopeful beginning. Meh. I dislike that I remember things far too long and most often, not as they were, but as I wish they had been. The comfort I give myself is that I don’t really cling to them; they are allowed to fade from memory (even if not as quickly as I’d like and almost always with that saudade sense that is bothersome). Overall, […]