I am stretched to the limit with something that I want and need to say, but am not willing to let loose until it is appropriate to do so. I used to think it was easy to keep things to myself, but this is putting all that confidence in my own stoicism right into the dust. And you know what? Not only do I not mind it, I’m glad, happy even, to experience it happening. Such an odd journey, life; Weird, wonderful, whacky, whimsical, and wonderous. This is me, thrumming with the unsaid. For now.
80%
10pm feeling (appropriately) like 11pm on this day after the fall back. ‘Bout to hit the hay, but noting an interesting contact today from a rather unexpected place. Cryptic, yes, but sometimes it just has to be that way. I’m curious what may come of it, if anything. We’ll see. Hope life is treating you as kindly as it is me. (hug) G’night, world.
The increasingly intermittent update!
Holy moley, it’s been a year already? I received a “happy anniversary” email from the university today and was genuinely surprised to find that a year of study has elapsed. The current semester is one elective (World Literature) and one core (IT-Design) class; both will be pretty much breezes. I’m doing assignments weekly in advance to take advantage of this and savor some “free time” since next semester is my “crunch” (All Math. Ugh.) The literature class I am already deeply enjoying as it is permitting me to stretch my analyst’s perspective as well as indulging my enjoyment of word […]
Woah (doosy of a cold)
Woke up Tuesday morning feverish and with a brick on my face. Wound up taking roughly three hours of a nap on my kitchen floor (apparently a fever spike). I don’t even remember going down; I was trying to get a cup of water and never made it. No bruises, so maybe I folded rather than fell? Who knows. Woke up with both cats flanking me, curled up and watching me. Staggered back to bed and slept the rest of the day. Day two, today, was mega dose Vitamin C, mineral infusions and tea, and water, water, water, water. As […]
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
Looking, but blind, the eyes seek on behalf of the heart; straining, ever reaching until, forlorn and despairing, they shut and close off every chance of lighting upon a beautiful thing. What hope, the loving, before the closed door? What chance, the infinite heart, pouring upon stone? But this is not the view of such loving, of such an infinite heart. Here, deep wisdom and a simple truth that is a pattern, repeating, as infinite as the heart that holds it as treasure. Water does not pour to reach the ocean, nor to wear down stone, nor to fill the […]
Smallish update for August
A bit of hectic lately, so not a lot of time to post. Work is slowly improving, home life is splendid, and college is grueling in a “bored beyond belief, but determined to stick it out” way. My daughter lands in Seattle in about three hours and we’ll have through Sunday together. I’ve take off Monday and Tuesday as my birthday is on the 24th and I want to luxuriate in all my “45-ness”. (Egad. I do not FEEL 45 whatever. How time flies!) Beyond this, not much; creative urges are largely confined to college work these days, but La […]
Settling in…
An excellent weekend, by any measure; good news on Friday, grand company for Saturday, and a restful and relaxing Sunday is on deck even as I type. Tonight is fasting for the round of doctor’s tests and the three month follow-up tomorrow, but I am optimistic. The new place is largely sorted; just a small bit of additional decor to finish and then all will be settled. The cats are finally back to normal which was, I admit, the largest hurdle for the move. The new semester of college begins tomorrow; classes are staggered this semester (one begins tomorrow, another […]
Worst. Day. In. A. While.
Now, you have to know that any day that begins with a mandatory, company wide “Code of Conduct” session is not the best day of the year. Props to the HR folks, they work hard to make it interesting and fun, but let’s face it, there’s only so much fun to be had in Olympus or Sinai style mandates, no matter how many prizes are handed out for getting the questions right. Or when, as it turns out, trying to do the right thing winds up uncorking a barrel of monkies that you just got truly finished hawking for fear […]
S’pose it was bound to happen sooner or later
Judging from a few interesting emails of late, it seems I have at long last been targeted by someone for online impersonation. Poor fool, I cannot imagine how or why they settled upon me; I’m the nearest thing to a “nobody” imagineable but for a brief blip on Usenet and a (relatively equally) brief blip in relation to H.B. 1630 (GA) in the ’90s. All the same, it seems someone thinks I’m worthy imitating. What’s that saying about the sincerest form of flattery? (wry grin) A quick look reveals limited efforts beginning somewhere in the mid 2005 – 2007 timeframe […]
Not “have to”, “want to”, well, at this point, “wanted”, really…
The letter or email I did not write echoes in my head; I had the letters arranged on the page, ready to send, then I realized, it doesn’t matter. It never mattered. The only thing sending them would accomplish is creating that odd state of discomfort (if anything at all) where you wonder, briefly, how or why I got so upset when it’s OBVIOUSLY so unimportant. Forever missing importance and finding out after the fact; it’s like being so unimportant that no one can even remember (bother?) to tell you; it would be like apologizing to an ant you stepped […]