“i am tolerant that means i am accepting. i am open and non-judgmental. no exceptions, i say. well, except turning you away.” he said it as if telling me we could still be friends was somehow a consolation.
a party. hah!
well now. the company party is tomorrow night. for the first time in over 15 years, i’m actually ‘dressing up’ for something. i spent today at the mall after work. searching desperately for SOMETHING that was both affordable and worth wearing. having shopped myself stupid, it occurs to me that most women these days do not know the difference between ‘class’ and ‘crass’. as it happens, it’s more than the “L”. i was mildly astonished that, apparently, most of the industry’s idea of ‘dressy’ today is a combination of ‘sluttish’ and ‘over-exposed’. but… eventually, the proper dress made itself known […]
down time.
i can’t decide what to entitle this. i’m starting off by laughing at the pain. seriously. one of those ‘ah, fuck, this hurts.’ but laughing as i’m saying it things. this FUCKING HURTS. the pain meds only put me to sleep. i’m tired of being knocked out, so i’m not taking the meds. so this fucking hurts. and i’m laughing. why? because the thing that hurts most are the TEETH STILL LEFT IN MY FUCKING HEAD. the fucking irony of it. that i’m sitting here, only thirteen teeth left in my head, and the fuckers have the audacity to hurt […]
taunt
well now. they’re starting to hurt. as in feel stretched. as in likely are knitting together but it throbs like a mother. past experience tells me that i know what dry socket feels like and thusfar, i’m not there, not do i plan to go there. but i’m beginning to wonder if i might have been a tad optimistic on the time it would take to knit up to the point that i could operate at work. guess we’ll find out. for now, i’m working at keeping my tongue off of it all (you’d be surprised how work that actually […]
half and half (dentistry)
well. this wasn’t as bad as i feared nor was it as easy as hoped. i sit here and contemplate whether or not i should gross you out with pictures. heh. part of me wants to record it and part of me is already pretending it didn’t happen. thirteen more to go, all in the front. apparently, they are the easiest to get out, so they get to go last. i’m so impressed with my dentist that i truly do not know what to say. even in the drugged state i was in, i know that he drilled out extra […]
note to a new friend
I find it interesting how things happen. For some time, I thought pre-destination or determinism was truth. Then, for a time, I thought objectivism was. Then, relativism. Then, I realized something pretty amazing (for me, anyway) — it’s all true…. and it’s all false. Both. At the same time. All the time. Everytime. There was an ancient Greek philosopher named Heraclitus. He’s fairly forgotten by all but the most diligent philosophy students and, even then, they consider him marginal, a sidenote, neatly “rebutted” by Plato and later, by his most ‘famous’ student, Aristotle. Generally, Heraclitus is considered the ‘most important’ […]
holiday night
i was a big goofball today. stayed in my pjs, played withthe cats, hah. had a blast doing pretty much nothing at all. made a new friend, ate pb&j, and little more beyond the usual merry day calls to friends. i feel pretty darned good, which is nice, since i thought for sure i’d be a melancholy mess. not much more for the moment. i’m feeling rather offish in relation to the blog, so don’t be surprised if i miss a few days between now and the new year. hope your day was full of delight. love you. (hug)
frakking bored
half a day work tomorrow then nothing until the 30th, when i go to have teeth yanked. nothing to do but sit here and think about that or other things i’d rather not. roads are icy, more snow is coming, and it won’t clear out until damn near sunday. everyone is agog at the weather. “we never get this kind of snow here” they all say. meh. the grinch in me grumbles, ‘figures.’ i’ve got movies and merlot. reckon i’ll get toasted and let the girls out to play so that they can keep me busy enough not to notice […]
resolution
the last time i was resolute, it was in relation to being a good friend. to being a good friend to someone who lied to me, pushed, pulled, and prodded at me to cross my boundaries, blamed me when i did so, then used that blame as the reason to end the friendship. proved pretty conclusively that it wasn’t much of a friendship, actually. good lessons, though. very good reinforcement of the reasons why i should maintain those boundaries. lessons that strengthened my resolve; cemented and set it. handy analogy. cement is a strong and stable thing, but if you […]
randomness at 1:19
it has been snowing like the dickens here. roomie calls it ‘abnormal’ as does the weather channel. meh. i was out in it a bit, it isn’t so bad if you don’t mind driving everywhere at 20 miles per hour. pretty quiet week and weekend thusfar. roomie heads to baltimore on the 23rd and doesn’t return until the 29th. work closes on the 24th and doesn’t open until january 5th. i only get paid for the 25 of december and the 1st of january. i’m still pissed that my recruiter borked my direct hire because it’s costing me $2500 over […]