here’s a lesson for you — no matter how bad it seems things are, they always improve. so whenever you feel you’re at a low point, smile, because the upswing is just around the corner. heh. this is something i always try to remind myself about, but i admit, i’m not as good at remembering it as i need to be to have a truly peaceful life. i’ve been a bit down in the mouth because it seems i got here just in time to almost have several amazing jobs, but too late to manage to get any of them. […]

humans love their games. even the ones that hurt to play. you know, like how you pretend something isn’t happening until it’s all up in your grille and you can’t pretend anymore. i have a very bad habit of not being done with things until i’ve seen every last shred of possibility die. i saw it today and i wish i hadn’t. i really wish i could be the kind of person who could say ‘i’m done’ and just drop it all into the sea of forgetfulness and remember it no more. i’m not. instead, i’m the kind of person […]

well, all the wonderful leads found when i landed here have yet to pan out. they may, they may not. i cannot afford to wait. if i do not have a job landed by this friday, i’ll be heading down to the local grocery or whatnot to snag “a job” to keep my cell and insurance paid, etc. let’s hope i can stand long enough to make a run of it. otherwise, i’m hosed. positive thoughts. positive thoughts! (wry grin) the hardest part about starting over is the whole ground zero part. the nice part about this time is that […]

there are some things in life that you don’t let on are present in your head because they’re soft, tender things that are easily injured and we all know how callous and careless humans can be at times. the phrase used for such things is the title of this piece. i picked it up from someone i once knew and it has come in rather handy since. i think about the things i want to do in this life and in truth, there really aren’t that many. mostly it’s places i want to see rather than things i want to […]

once upon a time, two women sat at a coffee shop, talking. “i completely understand,” said the second woman to the first, “there have been many times in my life when i just wanted to pack up and take off and let the wind take me where it would.” she sipped her latte slowly, the caramel and foam forming a soft mustache that she licked away happily before continuing, “the thing that kept me where i was is probably a silly thing, but it worked for me.” the first woman asked, “what was that?” “the reminder i give myself that […]

she snores. often loudly. sometimes. there’s never any way to know when it will happen, so she always tells whomever sleeps in hearing range that she’s a terrible snorer who snores all the time. she figures the occasional manifestation is easier to take that way. when she told him this, he laughed, ‘how bad can it be? i snore, too!’ and she grimaced mildly. women may or may not compete with one another, but no woman wants to compete with a man in snoring. let alone win. she figured time would be its own judge and she knew from experience […]

love is not that limerent sickness that knots your belly and ties your tongue. it is not that aching want that kills your appetite and brings depression. it isn’t that giddy delight when you see him/her or when s/he accepts your attention, affections, etc. love is the calm warmth, the quiet contentment to watch someone read a book, across the room and having forgotten you’re there. love is the soft liberty of bed head and bad breathe and it doesn’t even matter. love is the giggles of shared mockery without sharpness or hurt. love is cleaning up the dishes because […]

“i would never do that to you. i promise. i have thought about it in the past, but i know you could and would only be able to take it one way. i will never do that to you.” the pause grew after the period, as she read it, re-read it, let it seep into her, and wallowed in the comfort it brought. “i believe you.” she said. simply and quietly. it was true. in that moment, the truest thing she’d ever known. she loved him so much for being able to make her believe it. she loved him so […]

as beautiful as i thought it would be, and as peaceful. i did not get to spend as much time there as i would have liked, but it will be on my list of frequently visited places, to be sure. the camera, sadly, does not do it justice and i could not get the macro shots i had hoped for… all the same, the images live in my mind and i smile and will smile for some time for them. in other news, a callback and an upcoming phone interview with a bothell company that bodes well for me. it […]

say what it is says what it’s not the act is always divisive distinguishing extinguishing the possible completely one of the true despairs in life is the manner in which, in our rush to apply the label, to think (or assume) we ‘know’, in our eagerness to feel confident in it, we will destroy the most beautiful things, the most brilliant possibilities. reflexive humanity is a petulant child, stumbling about the garden of the world in a perpetual tantrum, kicking over anything that will not immediately accept the grasp, anything that does not instantly express approval or delight. distinguished man, […]