well, at roughly 3pm eastern standard time, i’ll be breaking the imac down and loading the truck and hitting the road. i have no idea if the deposit check will be in today’s mail or not, but if it isn’t it makes no sense to continue waiting, particularly as everything else hinges on my not being here beyond today (rent due tomorrow, prorations, etc.). so i’m hoping the damn thing shows up today, yes, but mostly i’m just looking forward to being on the road and having things in motion. i think i can make chicago by tonight, and the […]

he swore up and down he would never abandon me. that was, of course, how i knew he would. you never deny something that doesn’t already have a hook in you somewhere. it just never occurs to do so. i never told him that i had a rule about married men. that they were, in every instance, sexless to me. i made them so. in my mind, they were carefully neutered and as “male” as a ken doll. it kept them safe. hell, it kept me safe. and when they would start up with the ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ […]

i’m packed and ready to roll to seattle. heading out either friday morning or saturday, depending upon a small detail yet straggling and fluttering in the wind. this trip west is the culmination of close to ten years of wistful and wishful thinking. i fell in love with seattle during a series of conferences there in 1998 and swore i would eventually make my way there and call it home. of course, every time it seemed i was close to managing it, something would come along and upset the apple cart. one time in particular, i was packed and ready […]

small video update. things are rolling merrily along, not as smoothly as i had hoped, but that’s hardly anything new. click through to view.

there is a phrase simple and clear it says much more than the words said when it’s spoken truly, with time all things known still, too late (Quote: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, “As you wish,” what he meant was, “I love you.”)

remember that old saying, ‘be careful what you wish for, you might just get it?’ well. it’s true. my recruiter called today and advised me that my contract is at an end. apparently, making a recommendation they did not like hearing was enough to decide them to just be done. the interesting part is, when they called the recruiter, all they did was sing my praises. but they also said they wanted someone there wbo was planning on staying. which i’m not. mind you, i fully expected it would end early, but i was rather hoping for it to go […]

oh boy. here i sit, wishing i didn’t have to go into that office today. i’m going to need to seriously juggle some things in my head or this next three months is going to be misery. monday morning, pre-coffee, and i am wishing i could go back to bed. thoughts of playing hookie come and go. sigh. days like this, i wish i didn’t have to work. days like this, i wish i was a house mouse. curl into my man and murmur ‘honey, time to get up. do you want breakfast today?’ and he snuggles in and whispers […]

i’m thinking about history lately. and weirdness from unexpected corners. and, of course, the usual where/why did [insert event here] happen moroseness. as it is. it’s perfectly fine as it is. even with all that. just thoughts. they pass, ya know. i’m not upset over losing my friend anymore. kind of hurt. mostly just that. never easy to find out you were very simple to sit down, give up. ego bruise. it’ll pass. i find myself wishing for october. i’m anxious to get on with getting on to seattle. i’m also a bit miffed with the folks who are pouting […]

upon the rack evaporate all nourishment, droplets, drying time to judge skill or its lacking flames rising transmuting

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