heh. yes. i did. get it, that is. (beam) i start on the 22nd. paydays are weekly (thank the stars!) and in march of 2009, we’ll all huddle up to decide it i go permanent or not. i’m going today to pick up books on agile and rup just to brush up on it all, it having been a short while since i’ve been in the thick of either. i am relieved. i actually sagged into the wall when the call came. heh. someone has already said to me, ‘you should of had no doubt.’ but truth be told, these […]

i’ll know today if i have this job or not. i’ve dreamt both outcomes, then daydreamt them again upon waking. comfortably numb; i’ve worn myself out fretting for it. i can do nothing but wait. the other direct hire position has poofed, so if this one doesn’t come through, i’m back to square one and, after a month of being here, that’s not good. but i’ll cross that bridge if/when i get to it. i also dreamt last night about the studio with the water view again. no idea where that place is, but i would sure like to find […]

just got a call from my recruiter, and they have received feedback on my interview yesterday. as expected when i left, the hiring manager (director of development, want to talk about nervous interview… i haven’t been that nervous in an interview in YEARS!), was very happy with my gaming background and thought i would be a wonderful ‘cultural’ fit. he also liked that i had ‘old school experience’; doing this manner of work ‘back in the days’ when there weren’t any fancy metholodgies about, meaning i had the mindset and logic in place to manage things. on the flip side, […]

i have lost your email address and phone number. i need to get in touch with you. please use the ‘connect’ button here and shoot me a line with either or both. thanks!

a call yesterday afternoon about 2ish from a recruiter with a contract to perm opening in my neighborhood. good money, easy duty, and close to home. i say i’m interested. we talk a bit about it. then she finally gets to telling me who it is. i ’bout fell out of my truck. a gaming company. a LARGE gaming company. i feel like i’m dreaming, because no sooner did she submit me than i had an interview. today, in fact. at 3pm, in fact. and you know what? i’m going to get this job. not only do they have 25+ […]

made the mistake of having a nap today. this is the result. heh. not quite insomnia, as i am sleepy, but duty to be met, this blog. not a lot to report. i’m feeling a bit on the reflective side lately. not so much morose, which is a nice change. i’m looking forward to pre-hire interviews this week and having choices for a change (which is quite nice, thank you very much!) i’m also looking forward to getting things settled for this ‘last time’ in my life. i cannot tell you how nice it feels to know i’m staying here. […]

life brings me into very precarious positions on a regular basis. i’m trying to figure out if it is some manner of life lesson or if it’s just that i have a metric ton of kamma to settle while i’m here. no details this time, sorry, but just to say i see this situation and its similarities to previous ones. i note the pattern and finally see it with foresight rather than hindsight. best of all, i purpose to manage it differently. which is more difficult than you might imagine, since instincts and habits are still about and i’m not […]

something about being here has put me on a path of introspection and reflection. i don’t suppose that’s a huge change from ‘the norm’ but for the moments in which i see/feel it arriving as opposed to being all up in it and only seeing it as such after the fact. i’m not real sure what brought it on, but i was thinking of heath today. actually, i was thinking about how long it has taken me to see things as he seems to see them. sometimes, seeing another’s perspective is pretty damn hard. but, all things considered, i am […]

in all things, change life and seasons they pass and we are left to ache impermanence irony of progression isn’t it?

there is a kind of hope that hurts almost as much as knowing. i call it jagged hope. it’s the tattered, shredded hope that something broken or lost through lack of care might be recovered, even if not fully. it is, of course, illusory and utterly impossible. it is this knowing underneath the hope itself that makes it tattered and shredded… the claws of your own knowing coming up from below to natter at it and pick it apart until even you cannot say there’s anything left. i am not going to post the conversation here. i suppose, maybe, i […]