i often tell you what books i am reading and how or why i am enjoying them. it is a rare, rare thing for me to make a book recommendation. it is my sincere hope this will have meaning for you. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche has written what is, very likely, the most profoundly insightful book on the nature of mind, thought, and the art and science of finding peace and equanimity that i have ever read. i am, in fact, still reading it. but it has already rocked my brain in its casing. hence this recommendation. here is the link […]

in the temple of my memory, there are many statues graven images of beloved faces and the carefully recorded loops of their laughter play chorus and harmony to remind me that once upon a time, we cared, we loved, we shared i choose to remember them, each and all the pain of their passing, be it to loss or disagreement is, by far, overwhelmed by the beauty of their presence transient as it was, as it is, as ever it will be it reminds me of impermanence it reminds me of the truth of this precious moment fleeting and delicate […]

back in in 2006, i wrote this piece (http://www.m3me.online/archives/187) after watching the movie ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’. it was a movie recommended to me by someone who was, at that time, very close to me and for whom i cared very deeply (as i do for anyone and everyone i allow myself to connect with in any way). at the time i watched the movie, our friendship was on the rocks and dissolving. i could see it happening, i was powerless to shift or change it, and it seemed every effort i made in good faith or intent […]

word is the thought unwieldy form no matter the letters chosen something missing fidelity painful pun unspoken (this item is a departure from the norm; a paragraph of words that cannot be given and cannot be spoken, so, rendered into lines and curves, silently screamed, color and shape no less unable to communicate, but knowing what is there and what is meant can be its own comfort sometimes.)

i think the hardest part of this is the realization that at no point was it ever really open to discussion. the full year and a half, i was walking in a fog. i never expected when it got to the choice, that between ‘either let me legitimately into your life’ or ‘place me forever out of your life’ it would really be so easy a choice to make, so much so that it could fall like a guillotine. i pulled the rope that released it, of course. and a year and a half too late (wry grin). i’m still […]

imagine if the things you suspected if the things you assumed were true what kind of world would it be? this is what i ask myself when the dark thoughts come when i think the worst i’m too good at thinking too bad not enough space and life otherwise the devil you know always seems to peek out from everywhere i can’t say it’s how i want to be but it’s how it is how i am everyone understands until it splashes them i know this and still can’t keep my feet from the puddle stomping demons i see there […]

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