as beautiful as i thought it would be, and as peaceful. i did not get to spend as much time there as i would have liked, but it will be on my list of frequently visited places, to be sure. the camera, sadly, does not do it justice and i could not get the macro shots i had hoped for… all the same, the images live in my mind and i smile and will smile for some time for them. in other news, a callback and an upcoming phone interview with a bothell company that bodes well for me. it […]

say what it is says what it’s not the act is always divisive distinguishing extinguishing the possible completely one of the true despairs in life is the manner in which, in our rush to apply the label, to think (or assume) we ‘know’, in our eagerness to feel confident in it, we will destroy the most beautiful things, the most brilliant possibilities. reflexive humanity is a petulant child, stumbling about the garden of the world in a perpetual tantrum, kicking over anything that will not immediately accept the grasp, anything that does not instantly express approval or delight. distinguished man, […]

my daughter returned today from a tour of the galapogos islands. she was all a bubble for something she’d gotten for me and intends to overnight tomorrow. then came the realization that she’d left an alpaca rug she’d purchased for herself in the taxi. didn’t remember the name. or the car. paid by cash. the rug is likely gone. broke my heart. her’s too, for a time. she did recover, however. pictures to follow, no idea when. not much to report in employment land — the expedia position didn’t pan out, no word as yet from amazon, the microsoft position […]

i must say, it is damned nice to be in demand again. i am currently under consideration by amazon.com, expedia.com, and microsoft gaming systems. hah! HAH! take THAT, life! of course, i don’t know that any of them will do more than nibble, but to have them interested at all is its own reward. i’d have a fourth but they are farther than i care to drive. heh. the rates here are amazing. any one of these will easily pay double what i would make on the east coast. amazing. cost of living isn’t that much different here. wow, that […]

you lousy bastard. you liar. you game-player. i believed you. how stupid of me. are you laughing? i’m willing to bet you are. such an amusing game to you. fisherman. i bit hard, didn’t i? oh, that i had teeth to bite you in truth. i’d leave marks in your ass like you’ve left in my heart. i think about your happy weekends in the garden, at the pub, and i choke on anger. you knew i wanted to be part of that. you dangled it in front of me like a god damned carrot and idiot that i am, […]

i had several plugins that were beautiful use to me. one of which insured this place was off limits to anyone except those i had allowed registration and access. 2.6 broke them all. and so, once again, this site is open to the public. bleh. the feeds are still cut, and i am looking for another plugin to put this place behind the veil again, but until then, it’s sitting in the middle of the road. grrrrrrr.

the first week in my new home town. still smiling for it. among the more tender moments since my arrival was the hug in the kitchen and my friend whispering, “you’re not going to go hungry, you’re not going to be homeless, you’re going to be safe.” and the immediate lump and tears of thankfulness that rose to meet it. strangled whisper against a warm shoulder, “thank you.” what else could be said? i cannot convey how gifted, how blessed i feel to have someone like james in my life. in truth, he is the first person to be just […]

news. heh. click through to view.

it is an especial stupidity how attuned and affected (afflicted?) i am by the phases of the moon. i’ve long ago given up on trying to pretend it is anything else. too damned consistent. this, nearing half moon, is weighing on me like bricks. mid-month phasing tends to be morose, sap shit. pensiveness, loneliness, and emotional crap rising to the top to be sloughed off or just experienced and re-sunk until next month. in this moment, i’m missing my lost friend. and i’m feeling angry and hurt. and i’m wishing it were different. and, of course, on top of it […]

i often say that intention is the root of meaning, and the hardest part about being human (or buddhist, for that matter) is to remember to step back and grant the benefit of the doubt. my ex-landlord is not the brightest of bulbs. in truth, he’s very much like the ‘absent-minded professor’. but it is becoming hard to grant him the benefit of the doubt on things. particularly when even the simplest of transactions seems to be damn near impossible for him to manage. the check for the deposit still having not arrived and it being a week, he agreed […]