I wrote the preceding post from work, after hours, right before I followed my co-worker to their house to ‘inspect’ things and see if it is a place I could call home. I walked in and the stereo is playing jazz/NPR. It is neat, clean, and spacious. Good lighting. Happy energy. We tour the house. The room that would be mine has an eastern exposure. Picture window. Outlets on every wall. The neighborhood is quiet. The back yard is green. My co-worker is laid back and we have gotten along well since I started working there I ask how soon […]

Sometimes, timing and events are just odd. As you know, I have been trying desparately to find somewhere closer to work to move to, as the gas and travel times are eating me alive (which I knew would be the case). Over the weekend, I encountered an apartment complex who swore themselves blue in the face that they could find a way to rent to me. I let myself be suckered in and what do you know, today they turned me down flat just like everyone else has done. I don’t know why I keep trying, frankly. I shot my […]

life unfettered every moment the only bonds, those we accept habit as cage the bars seem real break away sing freedom

i spoke with an old friend today. once upon a time, i fancied we would be life partners. it was not to be. he has married and now has three children and a lovely life in the south west. we are still friends, albeit at distance. now and again, we meet on the chat channels and exchange updates with one another. he is always happy to talk with me, always tells me that he misses me. i have the sense that he thinks of me as a path untaken. i think of it now because i have another friend who […]

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it strikes me curious that there are people in the world who, choosing their own path, will still insist upon trying to make others do the same. it is foundational here that people make their own choices and that one’s path in life is largely about the lessons they have to learn. these things, naturally, are tightly related to themselves and rarely a thing that is or can be shared fully with others. the following article stands out to my mind for how it seems laden with the need to ‘convince or convert’ others. while i know most of the […]

i have just watched the most amazing movie. released 2004, french, subtitled, the title is this post’s title. it is the story of a boy’s home; a children’s home. the trailer lists it as a ‘boarding school’. i suppose that would have been the nice, proper, ‘let’s not think about it too much’ name of such places at that place in time and history. it was a boy’s home; a place where the orphaned, the unwanted, and the economically inconvenient children went to live. let’s just say i identified. a good story. good direction. good dialogue. i would say it […]

s’ok, i’m cruising online looking at apartments. it’s only half-hearted, since i don’t really have any spare funds to speak of, and i’m not really thinking anything is going to come along that is actually possible. now… mind you… i’m not saying this is happening, but it looks like it MIGHT. bleh. here. wait. video is easier. [quicktime]http://www.m3me.online/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/movie4.mov[/quicktime] ok. so. a distinct possibility, if i can pull the timing and funding into alignment. the difference in gas/distance is profound. from this (35 miles, one way, an hour’s drive): View Larger Map to this (14 miles one way, about ten minute’s […]

good gracious, the weather is like summer already. update to follow, click through to view!

i’ve been running on ground energy lately. that’s my way of saying i have no fucking idea where the energy is coming from, because i’m not really sleeping as i should be and it must be me just pulling the shit up through my feet out of the ground or something. i feel restless. not quite discontent (for all i’ll whine about being so here and there). it’s not quite Focus, but more like a cross between feeling really good/positive and feeling almost frightened (not quite) because things seem like they are improving and i naturally start cringing when they […]