my next door neighbor (the one who isn’t gay) came over today for a chat. actually, she came over because she’d heard i was with robert half technologies international and she’s looking for work. i seem to be getting a lot of that lately. i give them all my recruiters name and tell them to feel free to say i referred them, but i suspect they never follow through. this neighbor currently works as an advertising (sales) weasel for a small paper in town. she hates it. her work before this was in traditional newspaper journalism and i suspect she’s […]

no shit. observe the reaction, the shivers, the rocking. hah. i didn’t realize i did any of it. click through to view.

it is a quiet day. most are. it is not a bad thing. the kind of ‘excitement’ i usually have in my life is something that makes quiet days delightful. i find myself once more wishing i had someone with whom to curl up and spend this quiet day. giggles and closeness under covers, or sharing the sofa and a movie, or sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere… just taking. companionship. the feeling of closeness and care. i want this. sometimes i think maybe i was wrong to leave new jersey. there were a lot of things missing there, […]

i remember now why they call recruiters ‘data pimps’. i just got a call from mine. he’s all in a flutter because monday is a holiday. well, actually, he’s all in a flutter because monday is a holiday and i haven’t been with them long enough to get paid for it. it means that they can’t bill the client for it. which means he won’t get his however-much-percent-of-the-billable he gets for my work. naturally, he couldn’t care less if i get paid or not for that day. his comment to me was, ‘i need you to ask if you can […]

well. a good day at work. pleasant weather. blah, blah. blah. i’m sitting here looking at my bank statement online and going W…T…F. apparently they have decided that since my account is still technically in georgia, they’re justified in not crediting my payroll direct deposit for an extra day. who can blame them? they get the additional interest on that money AND they get to charge me $35 a pop for anything that shows up to be paid. i’m just about at my wit’s end in general. what else can possibly go wrong? (no, don’t answer. please.) instead of this […]

i watched this film tonight and enjoyed it as i always do. the dvd had a documentary on it about the bushman star. i decided to watch it. it has broken my heart. i suppose i am the worst possible kind of idealist; someone who will embrace the pretty and peaceful and hope that it is real rather than look very deep (for fear it is not). the idyllic life painted in the movie was, of course, pure fantasy. the bushman have not lived in such ways for a very, very long time. instead, the first piece of the documentary, […]

At this moment, there remain only three active accounts here. I am still considering things in relation to all but one of them. As you may or may not note, someone is taking a bit of a respite for a time. In the meanwhile, I’m working on getting things in order, removing some hurtful situations, and generally insuring things move forward smoothly. I am not forgiving on my best day. This is not my best day. There are those of you who are appreciated and much cared for, but in the balance of things, it isn’t going to save you […]

“The Buddha approached suffering differently. He said that suffering is not inherent in the world of impermanence; suffering arises when we cling. When clinging disappears, impermanence no longer gives rise to suffering. The solution to suffering, then, is to end clinging, not to try to escape from the transient world.” The areas of my life in which I cling to things are few. But the places in which I do are horrendously difficult to overcome. I do not cling to material things. Everything I “possess” I can (and have, and could easily again)  leave sitting or given away. I do […]

for those who cannot see the videos here, this blog is going private (as in no more access) effective wednesday.  i’m leaving it open long enough for everyone who says they read here daily to see this. if you want to stay in touch with me, i suggest you hit the ‘connect’ button up top and send a request for email if you do not have it already. and if you have the email address or the phone number, i respectfully request you use it, as my time of courting response and begging contact are over. as in “I’m done.” […]