i’ve been forgetting to insert the ‘more’ tag lately. load times are increasing for it. back to doing so. evening update and some rather distressing developments today healthwise. meh. as always, click through to view.

i just had the most amazing conversation. with a man. here. in my own damn town. hah. they have a campfire (!!) meet at which they do readings, make music, and jabber the night away. HAH! HA HA! i told him i’d fucking PAY to attend one. he said no need. he’d be sure to give me a call the next one comes up. usually weekends. and guess where it is? LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE. HAH! TAKE THAT, LIFE! No, no, wait… you don’t get it… I DO! HAH! holy hell. no. video. this deserves video. hang […]

something woke me. not sure what. it is way too early for me to be awake. going to try to go back to sleep, but documenting this dream because it was…. odd. i was working at a factory. a conveyor belt production line. something canned. i have no idea what. the belt kept running faster and i couldn’t keep up and the other workers on the line were starting to grumble because it was affecting everyone downstream. i felt helpless and embarrassed. it seemed so easy for everyone else, and yet, there i was, unable and feeling really very worthless […]

my truck broke down today. now here is a testament to things…. not even a week ago, i would have been cursing up the sky and wailing and gnashing my teeth about it. but today, i just shrugged and said, ‘alright. i get a day at home.’ played with Daka. played my game. considered writing but i didn’t FEEL like it. so took a nap instead. phone woke me. they were calling to say it was ready and they were on the way to pick me up. heh. you know you’re living in a small southern town when the mechanic […]

hah! this morning as i’m dressing, the following interaction with Daka. amazing. :) [quicktime]http://www.m3me.online/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/daka_fetching.mov[/quicktime]

i’m up later than i should be. it’s alright though. i’m sleeping well lately and there’s always coffee. as the title states, something is changing here. i’m not quite sure what it is just yet. at the moment, it is a feeling. kind of still in the wings. not really more than a taste of something that is ‘different’ in ways that are hard to try and define. i’m not feeling as lonely. i’m not as angry as i thought i would be of recent things. i’m not as prone to spikes of sadness. i’m also not putting a lot […]

the inbetween transition, change from one state into another from the past tense into present the slow steps relentless

making new words reinventing clever catchphrase for the process fixing fiction into new forms all of life made unreal

my daughter sent me an e-card for mother’s day. i know i will not hear from my son. i think of my real mother who died in 2003 and my real mother who lives in conyers and is getting older in that visible way that makes you so tender and pensive toward them. i think about my friend in new jersey, whose mother died just months ago and how this day will be hard on them. i’m about to give them a call. i think about my friend in georgia, who was very close to and for many years lived […]

spent the day playing world of warcraft. not much more to say there. had fun. have met some new folks who seem normal (we’ll see bout that). in other news, an odd follow-up to the february fiasco… an email arrived today from someone who only now (two months later?!?) replies. apparently, they saved the ad out and ‘thought about it’. i’m almost positive that registered ‘psycho’ here. i replied politely and told them i’m more than happy to talk to them but that i’ve pretty much given up on anything more, all things considered. i went ot the grocery store […]