s’ok, i’m cruising online looking at apartments. it’s only half-hearted, since i don’t really have any spare funds to speak of, and i’m not really thinking anything is going to come along that is actually possible. now… mind you… i’m not saying this is happening, but it looks like it MIGHT. bleh. here. wait. video is easier. [quicktime]http://www.m3me.online/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/movie4.mov[/quicktime] ok. so. a distinct possibility, if i can pull the timing and funding into alignment. the difference in gas/distance is profound. from this (35 miles, one way, an hour’s drive): View Larger Map to this (14 miles one way, about ten minute’s […]

good gracious, the weather is like summer already. update to follow, click through to view!

i’ve been running on ground energy lately. that’s my way of saying i have no fucking idea where the energy is coming from, because i’m not really sleeping as i should be and it must be me just pulling the shit up through my feet out of the ground or something. i feel restless. not quite discontent (for all i’ll whine about being so here and there). it’s not quite Focus, but more like a cross between feeling really good/positive and feeling almost frightened (not quite) because things seem like they are improving and i naturally start cringing when they […]

the following is a reply to someone recently cut out from this place. they wrote me asking ‘what happened’ and i pretty much told them. they wrote me back saying ‘they had no idea i felt that way’. i chuckled, no, of course they didn’t, how would they when they haven’t been in touch? sigh. it is pointless, really. but this response given to their statement that they began following here because i wrote so often and well about buddhism and practice and how that seems to have ‘trickled off to nothing’ lately. succinctly, i beg to differ. more verbosely…. […]

for about oh, four hours today, this site was gone. it won’t make any sense to anyone, so i don’t know why i’m trying to explain. just what i do, i reckon.

traffic flies by places to be so many things, all important running the maze on the shoulder flies gather fresh roadkill

i said i wasn’t going to write about this. i confess, i’m not yet at a place where that is a declaration i can let stand. old habits, they say, die hard, and i am increasingly convinced that ancient ones may never die, but instead, follow you life to life. i am working on coming to grips with loneliness. i find i am only lonely when i am reminded i am alone. i’m not sure if that is common or not. perhaps it would be more accurate to say i am lonely only when i think about it, since saying […]

short update before bed. as always, click through to view.

video. click through to view. (chuckle)

my neighbor (the gay one) woke me about half an hour ago. apparenlty, she knocked on my door. but i did not consciously hear that. i was sleeping. what i ‘woke up to’ was the sound of her talking to my cats through the windows by the front door. then, of course, i had to try and figure out… was she just being social with the cats, or had she, in fact, knocked and that was what woke me? so i dragged myself to the door and opened it and asked her, ‘did you knock?’ and she said that yes, […]