“so, what do you think of the place?” i ask the question with some trepidation, knowing it is, at best, humble by the world’s considerations. “i love it. it really reflects where you are in life.” he replied.

808 days from the start date to the end date, end date included. Or 2 years, 2 months, 18 days including the end date. 808 days can be converted to one of these units: 69,811,200 seconds 1,163,520 minutes 19,392 hours 115 weeks (rounded down) Me? I just happy there is an end date. March 19, 2008. Happy there’ll be no anniversary, happy that once I make this post, I’ll forget even this….. happy.

i swear i am sincerely, deathly, totally apologetic for any humor i ever made about the hormonal changes that happen after 40. but i admit it’s only because i’m enduring them now and they are not fun. sigh.

a full circle isn’t really reality cubed on itself patterns repeat around the bush giddy run breathlessly

near my house is a park. it is an open and beautiful place. it has lots of trees, lush, thick, green grass, and plenty of parking. the park never closes. it has no gates or cordons to restrict passage. there are playgrounds and flower gardens, a hand-built wishing well, a dirt field fit for baseball or frisbee or dog walking. but every time i go by it, it is empty.

i’m tired, i’m broke, my head is about to pop from the pollen, my arthritis is kicking my ass, and i’m pissed for being so bored that i’ve actually considered trying to go find a television to watch. where the hell are my friends? no. scratch that. i know where they are and you know what? they can stay there. i’m going to bed.

out of the blue tonight, i receive an email that one of my previous co-workers at the game company has found me on linked in and graced me with an unexpected recommendation. “…. was one of the main creative forces driving the video game. It was her creative writing that motivated myself and other artist to create the world. Her writing will continue to inspire and motivate where ever she goes, it was a pleasure being a part of the world she created.” (sic) wow. really. i felt so crushed when the lay off came and even moreso when the […]

taking a short break from drilling out process for work, and a friend’s email sent me an interesting bit of insight. i always find it comforting and rather curious when things that i think i’ve created turn out to be ancient bits of thought. i find it an experiential confirmation of connectedness. i mean, seriously, can you run into this kind of thing regularly and maintain doubt? i can’t.

  for the first time in almost three weeks, i actually slept through the night. consider me bouncing with happy. i sit here looking at four packets of flower seeds….

heh. i took a nap so am up later than i would be. i’m so pleased this isn’t insomnia that i could scream. and yes, thank you, i did wake in a much better mood. i also trash even MORE of ‘the archives’ and did so with a smile. removing names that hurt to look at feels good, particular since the only time they hurt anymore is when i see them unexpectedly. noting particularly deep or meaningful to talk about today and you know what? i think that may well be a relief, too. i wrote a letter today that […]