Copyright – yeshes.online

The long version, for the curious, follows:

Author: Yeshes Online (aka “BLB” and selectively known more fully elsewhere/otherwise where legally required).

Works Created: From August 24, 1965; at approximately 03:14PM, in Atlanta, GA, United States to present, and forward through unto death, and so long as there remains a legal mandate to maintain my agency and creative autonomy as a human. AFTERWARD? Afterward, I hereby donate the entirety to the public domain, intended to be freely archived, disseminated, and enjoyed with full attribution under the following, Creative Commons license subject ONLY to my comments, immediately hereafter:

This work © 1965 – [Date of Burial Ceremony*] by Yeshes.Online is, upon my burial/death ceremony, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International (wherein the date of my burial, not the date of a death certification) will establish the matter after which these works are so released.

Copyright Notice:

All writings, works, recordings, and assets are (or should be) attributed to their originating creators. Should you find this is not the case and you wish to have such an item removed, please reach out and let me know.

All lyrics marked with registration and link demonstrating their placement with ASCAP for management. Reach out to license for use.

All contained of authorship herein are authored by me or explicitly in the context set forth below, effectively and equally the same. Thus, I hereby assert my moral rights as the author of these works.

No Credit Required: I have purchased a paid Suno account that grants me full ownership and control over all creations without any requirement for credits or attribution. However, out of respect and appreciation, both to myself and others, I choose to credit Suno.Com, the AI-powered music composition tool.

THAT said, I have used my own prompt engineering learnings and used them to render a directed result that is effectively a nice, “secret sauce” that I mix up as a ‘quick and dirty demo’ because, frankly, I cannot afford to hire professionals to craft and deliver and my reality as an autistic human prohibits music theory as well as most instruments or combined orchestration due to pretty profound sound sensitivities. I know I’m an edge case, but I’m thankful for these tools, even if I cannot afford most of them.

But I would point out that the intention of these items are not even to ‘be real music’ and bluntly, not even to ‘be a real lyric’. I’m goofing off with concepts and memories and mud and blood and life being remembered and now (re)lived in the moment. It’s harder than it may look to pull out of that attractor (trauma response, hyper-vigilance, etc), and I’m still unmasking, so likely gonna back near the streets (we’re very close to this now, only without any help)… so consider this one (“me”) more like “mau“, an old, rather scuffed neighborhood cat who thought she’d rescued herself and pulled her self and soul out of the streets… but seems now to inexorably fall toward them as the allostatic load starts showing up, you know, cracks in the foundation? A dead head gasket? A surprise roshambo?

I am putting this page up now because I want to tell my story for charity (though I do not yet know which one) and hopefully find a way to fix my life so I can finally try to live it. #Goals

For me, 2023 was the year of the great humbling. It is always humbling when you do all the things they way that is insisted and then, it implodes and somehow, magically, no one but me ever winds up holding the bag.

And 2024 has been largely fallow as I try to get all the doctor’s realigned so I can even keep living. I depend on a cocktail of big pharma designed to trick my body into working just a wee bit longer. See, the problem is my neck is fucked and my back is, too. Once upon a time, I spent 4.5 years in a wheelchair and at that time, I was (mis)diagnosed repeatedly until I finally just started creeping out at night and going down the stairs on my butt just to get some movement in… but then I realized my skin didn’t like the sun anymore. It blisters and peels or just swells until I have to go meditate to get the itching to stop. And stay in a dark or dim room.

And keep it no warmer than 75 Fahrenheit (23 Celsius) or I have to go cool down somehow else it’ll overwhelm me and send me into sensory meltdown. Oh, and quiet, as I have intrusive, persistent tinnitus and haven’t been able to get to the audiologist just yet because I’m finally going to the allergist and immunologist for full-range testing. It only took 58 years and countless instances of aggressive gaslighting or denialism, pathologizing me, refusing me access to tests, and basically reminding me every second that I am ancillary in all things; the first murder in a woman’s life is her autonomy, even today.

And I know I am FORTUNATE because lots of people go their whole lives without healthcare, never having access to even a sliver of what I have had to repeatedly save my life. I’ve had more than many and still, never reliably enough to help me find an outcome other than the same old, same old. Finally, I had to admit… it’s me. I am an autistic human. That I ‘managed it’ this long? A fucking miracle. And to be technically correct, I didn’t manage it. It has all but killed me. That’s what allostatic load IS, and that’s what it DOES.

Why am I like this?

Because I think every human’s value and here, now, mine as well, is more than their age or whether or not they have a deteriorating body. Their value, like my own, lives so long as they do. And for me, though it clearly seems mystical somehow, even though my reproductive system has naturally died. #PostMenopausal #LateDiagnosed #ActuallyAutistic #FoolOfATook #HumanHypocrite #JustLikeYou #PainReliefElevation #InvisibleIllness #ChronicallyIronicallyUnironicallyHuh #NotUseless #CSPO #Product #Ideation #Process #Patterns #Innovations

I claim my copyright even if no one values it but me.

Special Acknowledgments:

I wish to bow and acknowledge vizzy.io for their platform that enabled automation of the audio responsive video creation process. They deserve many of my pennies, but I have to stay fed, so I’m trying to point y’all their way. Don’t hug them too hard without honoring Dandelion and tossing a coin or $50 their way. You’ll see.

Copyright Protection: I intend to protect my intellectual property rights in all these works and assert that any unauthorized use, reproduction, or distribution of these materials without evidence of paid licensing is and will always be prohibited. I will always credit original crafters; please email and challenge should you feel cause and we’ll figure it out.

To reiterate – I made everything here that isn’t marked with credit otherwise as appropriate (if I missed something, hit me up on contact form) and I’ll get it fixed or down, as you like.

Effective Date: I state that this should be considered a retroactive assertion of all authorship in this life. To wit, that this statement is copyright Tuesday, August 24, 1965, 03:14PM, Atlanta, Georgia, United States of America; AND shall remain in effect until further notice OR my validated cause of death AND burial ceremony as decreed by my surviving spouse or, failing him, the honorable rinpoche, heart lama, and most precious teacher, long may he live, Drupon Thinley Ningpo Rinpoche, locally of Florida, United States.