yeshes.online

another call from my daughter. they met at the mall, had dinner together, and she is now on her way to something else.

my daughter is in contact with my son. they are half-siblings, from different marriages. the story is long and fraught with pain. she called me to tell me they are going to meet. this will be the first time she has had contact with him in over ten years.

the last day has been filled with ‘blah’. weird week approaches. ugh. i’m moving during weird week. didn’t think about that. sit here pondering if it is possible to choose not to be affected. and also musing on the things that inevitably arise to mind during this time.

stars. another good one. i know music is a reflection, a mirror, a scrying pool. all the same, all the same.

new music. lyrics and music, heavy and light, pensive and hopeful, and more. love it. this one in particular: “Maybe Not”

here i am, again, thinking about you. i no longer hurt for the things you did. i just miss you. i think about how happy i know you must have been to get the job in austin. i think about how relieved you had to feel to return to something known, something safe, something stable. i smile and am happy to know you are happy in this.

i realize that in admitting this, i’m admitting to be well on my way to ‘old fartdom’. heh. i don’t mind. it was a good song, it still is a good song, and i always did like the pensive almost-but-not-quite longing of it.

well, in a surprise move, my sleeping schedule is actually back to normal. huzzah! today is laundry day. i grimace lightly, but upon looking out the window, i smile… no rain, clear sky already visible, it is going to be a glorious day.

a very good day. boxes and tape and markers, oh my! *grin* i’m preparing to prepare for the move. oddly, as i am doing so, i continue to be bombarded with reminders of things i seem to have forgotten over the last seven years.

i am not one to be politically involved. once upon a time i was, but this was before i got a really good, deep look at the true nature of the system and how any nourishment of it in any way only sustains it. there are many who will (and have) condemned me for my current ‘hands off, no thought, no involvement’ choice, and i am comfortable with this as well as my choices. this said, i stumbled on a transcript of the recent press conference and for the first time in a very long while, wish to say something. […]