yeshes.online

it is interesting the manner in which the universe often sends confirmations and the like when least expected and therefore, most helpful.

great news. the unemployment office won’t allow me to file without a copy of my last paystub. four hours at the department of labor with no results has done little to improve my mindset.

ever tell you what you fear never what you want to hear you disdained me this choice giving light to shadow’s voice hate me for shadow voice saying things you’d have unsaid as if they do not curl and hiss silently within your head no doomsaying do i undertake or ill end would i cast only set light to your shadow that it might safely pass moments bloom and fade lessons brought and passed in the quiet kharma glade all actions reactions cast om mani padme hum dralas on the wind spin sweet dharmachakra bring all to fruitful end

waking from sleep. suddenly. i recognize this. ok. nod. there it is. what of it? nothing. seems to me it has all happened precisely as it should. i remind myself of my roles. i once listed them to another, and at that time, they insisted rather forcefully that i was incorrect. i chuckle to think of it in this moment, as time and events have demonstrated rather pointedly that, as usual, i was spot on in every way.

i have no idea what comes next. and having moved through the initial fear, i find myself strangely exhilarated. at this moment, all possibilities exist. there’s something uniquely beautiful about it. it will not last, of course. nothing does. the on-going lesson of inpermanence is sometimes difficult to accept, but i try more than i used to… perhaps that counts for something.

a lesson found today…

sometimes, circumstances are a real pain. i do not usually talk about work here, mostly because much of what i do is proprietary and cannot be mentioned. however, today, i am doing so.

i should be sleeping. but i cannot until i get this out of my head and placed here. this likely will not make any sense whatever to anyone not in the situation, but that’s ok. those who get it will, and those who don’t likely do not need to do so.

the word for today is ‘melancholy’. the song is courtesy of Jonathan Coulton, ‘When You Go’ (MP3 link).

i adore synchronicities. i used to fear them. no more. they bring comfort. i have a new friend, a very good and cherished friend. someone i can share anything with, and who shares everything with me. it is hard to describe the sense of love and care that lives here for them. deep. strong. alive.