well. today has been a very busy day indeed. at roughly 6:30am this morning, i made my usual stop at starbucks for a lovely caramel macciato and piadini (breakfast sandwich). the folks there already have me tagged as ‘a regular’ and know my voice at the speaker… which amuses me and is rather nice. i pull up to the window and hand over my nice, shiny new checkcard to pay. “hrm. it didn’t take it. let me try again.” the girl at the window grins, certain that it’s the machine or maybe she swiped it upside down. we laugh and […]
cotton-headed thoughts
i am sleepy. as is usually the case when so, thoughts leap and flit about like fish in a lake. i think often of those i have loved who are no longer in my life. men, mostly, but not always. many types of love, for all that it seems most people, when hearing the word, cannot bring themselves to look past ruddy eros. i always have…. though it seems most often only to court disappointment, disillusionment, and despair. this said, i am not any of those in this moment. i’m drowsily contemplative. so instead of mourning or moroseness, simply a […]
woof. busy saturday.
took the imac in today to repair/replace the glass on the front. it was damaged out of the box and had a weird faded spot there. i thought it was a shadow, but closer examination (new glasses for the win!) revealed damage. apple warranty took care of it, no charge. love that. also went thrift store shopping today and got a sweet wood (not fake crap) bookcase for $30. and then some knicknacks to make it look homey. finally unpacked the last of the boxes. alas, all that will fit in this room is a twin bed. haven’t got the […]
avatar, dreaming
sometimes, when i look at the things people have made over the years, i feel sadly that my only experience of them is on the fringe, outside looking in. not because i think or feel i should be ‘there’ instead of ‘here’… it’s really all the same. more that i think about the things i might have made, too, had i been in the midst of the swirling creativity; sparks of sparks and all fanning the flame. i had such a ‘near miss’ with two groups in recent years. both of which continue to swirl on my periphery. i keep […]
The Journal & Journey of Brazen Phoenix (Warhammer)
~late evening, Nordenwatch~ It is a curious thing, the manner in which peasants become peacocks when the soldiers are nearby. Throughout my time with the Griffon Order, through the first villages and warcamps I’ve visited, almost without exception, the local peasantry stride and whoop as if they have won the day when a battalion arrives with news of distant victories. I suppose if one is used to a life of farming and mercantile – where the biggest risk is whether or not that woven fabric you spent this year’s harvest money on will sell – it must seem exotic and […]
passage
you’ll note a new theme. you’ll note it is missing something. something it has always had in some form or another. i’m not sure what it means. or if it will last. but i’m kind of enjoying that it isn’t compulsory in this moment. the baby picture is me, of course. 1966, actually. typo in the graphic. i was nine months old. i just put 1965 there because … well, not sure. i’ll get around to fixing it eventually. more another time. kind of tired.
leftovers
i’m listening to silence and distance. the sixth remix. the final. remembering the dream i had. the one where we were long time gone from one another. i told you about it. i remember how you insisted that could never happen. i told myself i believe it because i wanted to believe it. gone binary. i’d wonder about that, but i won’t let myself. moot. oddly, i haven’t cried about it. comfortably numb. or something. i can’t tell if i’m sick to my stomach for being angry or being hurt. jumbled. they tend to run close together. always have, i […]
recycling – the mandala
finally got around to doing this one to go with the previous post.
uuuuh! (o’er the hump day)
things are really spinning up at work. and the surprises just keep coming. today, walking back from a meeting, i round the corner and damn near knock down my VP. he stops me and puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “ah, good to see you! i wanted to let you know that i’ve been getting some pretty glowing reports about your work.” naturally, i went beet red and grinned like a jackass eating briars. he went on, “and i just wanted to tell you that, at the rate you’re going, you’ll be full time in no time.” he […]