love is not that limerent sickness that knots your belly and ties your tongue. it is not that aching want that kills your appetite and brings depression. it isn’t that giddy delight when you see him/her or when s/he accepts your attention, affections, etc. love is the calm warmth, the quiet contentment to watch someone read a book, across the room and having forgotten you’re there. love is the soft liberty of bed head and bad breathe and it doesn’t even matter. love is the giggles of shared mockery without sharpness or hurt. love is cleaning up the dishes because […]
ahchi moment
“i would never do that to you. i promise. i have thought about it in the past, but i know you could and would only be able to take it one way. i will never do that to you.” the pause grew after the period, as she read it, re-read it, let it seep into her, and wallowed in the comfort it brought. “i believe you.” she said. simply and quietly. it was true. in that moment, the truest thing she’d ever known. she loved him so much for being able to make her believe it. she loved him so […]
japanese garden, seattle
as beautiful as i thought it would be, and as peaceful. i did not get to spend as much time there as i would have liked, but it will be on my list of frequently visited places, to be sure. the camera, sadly, does not do it justice and i could not get the macro shots i had hoped for… all the same, the images live in my mind and i smile and will smile for some time for them. in other news, a callback and an upcoming phone interview with a bothell company that bodes well for me. it […]
distinguishing
say what it is says what it’s not the act is always divisive distinguishing extinguishing the possible completely one of the true despairs in life is the manner in which, in our rush to apply the label, to think (or assume) we ‘know’, in our eagerness to feel confident in it, we will destroy the most beautiful things, the most brilliant possibilities. reflexive humanity is a petulant child, stumbling about the garden of the world in a perpetual tantrum, kicking over anything that will not immediately accept the grasp, anything that does not instantly express approval or delight. distinguished man, […]
from the islands
my daughter returned today from a tour of the galapogos islands. she was all a bubble for something she’d gotten for me and intends to overnight tomorrow. then came the realization that she’d left an alpaca rug she’d purchased for herself in the taxi. didn’t remember the name. or the car. paid by cash. the rug is likely gone. broke my heart. her’s too, for a time. she did recover, however. pictures to follow, no idea when. not much to report in employment land — the expedia position didn’t pan out, no word as yet from amazon, the microsoft position […]
in the ‘looking for work’ department…
i must say, it is damned nice to be in demand again. i am currently under consideration by amazon.com, expedia.com, and microsoft gaming systems. hah! HAH! take THAT, life! of course, i don’t know that any of them will do more than nibble, but to have them interested at all is its own reward. i’d have a fourth but they are farther than i care to drive. heh. the rates here are amazing. any one of these will easily pay double what i would make on the east coast. amazing. cost of living isn’t that much different here. wow, that […]
post-half spasm
you lousy bastard. you liar. you game-player. i believed you. how stupid of me. are you laughing? i’m willing to bet you are. such an amusing game to you. fisherman. i bit hard, didn’t i? oh, that i had teeth to bite you in truth. i’d leave marks in your ass like you’ve left in my heart. i think about your happy weekends in the garden, at the pub, and i choke on anger. you knew i wanted to be part of that. you dangled it in front of me like a god damned carrot and idiot that i am, […]
annoyed with wp
i had several plugins that were beautiful use to me. one of which insured this place was off limits to anyone except those i had allowed registration and access. 2.6 broke them all. and so, once again, this site is open to the public. bleh. the feeds are still cut, and i am looking for another plugin to put this place behind the veil again, but until then, it’s sitting in the middle of the road. grrrrrrr.
friday night thoughts
the first week in my new home town. still smiling for it. among the more tender moments since my arrival was the hug in the kitchen and my friend whispering, “you’re not going to go hungry, you’re not going to be homeless, you’re going to be safe.” and the immediate lump and tears of thankfulness that rose to meet it. strangled whisper against a warm shoulder, “thank you.” what else could be said? i cannot convey how gifted, how blessed i feel to have someone like james in my life. in truth, he is the first person to be just […]