Now that the house is lost and the realities of my health are settling in, I find I’m actually glad to have the space in which to just… breathe. I’m so proud of J and how well he’s held up during everything that I don’t quite know how best to say it… I’ll just say it the way I said it to him, “You are my real life hero; the only person who is there for me exactly the same as I am for you.” It’s a really good feeling to have that in life. I spent quite some time […]
WILBDHMDHMNM
I love my mother. But I could not be around her because she was so hateful in her alcoholism. I love my father. But I could not be around him because he was so physically and emotionally abusive. I love my sister. But I do not have the strength to cope with her bi-polar challenges. I love my grandparents and great-grandparents. But they passed long before I was an adult. I love my son. But I gave him up because my ex-husband and his new wife were using him to try and hurt me, and recklessly hurting him in the […]
Factual Attribution Error
I did not place you with Dean & Diane. I placed you with your father. I have no idea how you got from your father’s to Dean and Diane’s, but no one ever talked to me or had me sign anything or even said it was happening. I was contacted by Diane and told I needed to send her child support. I told her I didn’t know what the heck she was talking about, but you were supposed to be living with your dad. She never did tell me how all that came down, maybe you can find out. I […]
letter to the monster
Recently, I have thought about the idea of my writing a letter to you. It struck me as unusual for several reasons, not the least of which being that although I have every right to write you the ferociously angry letter I immediately thought of, I never considered doing so as a legitimate way to release the anger I have toward you. Even as I sit here and type, I do not feel that warm flush of anger rising to push the words out of my brain. Very strange, since it is a rare thing indeed to find myself without […]