Remember when I wrote a week or so ago that I could feel the flux of an impending change? (A sudden disturbance in the force, Luke…) Well. It’s here. Hah. Feels like surfing, really; you never lose the hang of it once you’ve got it (though you may huff and puff a bit for the surprise of the first lurching movements). Alright, in no particular order: – Turns out FHA won’t finance me outside King County. So the plan for a semi-remote sanctuary in Port Orchard (in any fashion) is done. – I have my limit for what I’m willing to […]

Good thing I’m an adaptable woman. Just got the call from my agent and, apparently, there’s a problem. They can’t write my mortgage in Kitsap. As in… at all. So. Goodbye to the cute as a button house and to Port Orchard, it seems. Goodbye perhaps even to the house hunt overall, as the county in which I can be underwritten doesn’t seem to really start under 350, unless you have sweat equity to bring to the equation. At the moment, I have no comment. Nothing you’d want to hear, anyway. I’m 25 minutes from coffee with a friend I’ve […]

Well then. Back on the mark, get set, go! A cute little 3/2 less than five minutes from the ferry in an honest-to-goodness neighborhood. Amazing. Needless to say, the offer is in. Now, once more, I wait to see the outcome. The cancellation letter for the little house with the view (and, sadly, all the repairs and stairs) is on its way as well. Should this one not pan out, then it’s likely either the new construction near Manchester or (should that fail for whatever reason), once more calling a halt to it. As I said, time will tell. Not […]

The harpy in my head is in a sour mood today. She reminds me that I lied. There is a third possibility. It is the worst of them all because it is basically a repeat of the pattern with new players. The blissful ignorance of the primary, the willful competition of the secondary; so desperate for SOMETHING, SOMEONE, that they’ll do anything, say anything, be anything, give up even the last inch. I’m not one to be the willful competitor. The third possibility and I, we are strangers. And if I ever become one to consider it, it will be […]

Tomorrow, I go to see another house. Single level, hardwood floors, two car garage, close to the ferry; all the things I need. Interestingly, I find I am becoming rather blasse about it; four houses I could have loved to live in, all shot down for either bidding wars or impossible repairs and stairs, I’m getting out of the idea that I’m going to find a dream home and starting to settle into the notion of getting a good home. Ah, pragmatism. Part of me is sighing, “Why should this be any different?”, but most of me is still happy […]

I have nothing but domestic duty to do today. I am not doing domestic duty today. I am not sure what I am doing today, but this will be no lazy day. I hope you’re making the most of yours.

An interesting notion occurred to me last night, in a dream. The notion was this: I’m going to stop holding myself back from those I do give of myself to, AND I’m also going to stop giving myself to those who either cannot or will not return the favor in meaningful ways. See, I hold myself back to see who will notice or seek me out. The active curiosity on my part is to see who is awake enough to even notice, let alone care to try. Part of it is the result of spending much of my life utterly […]

I rarely sleep more than 4 hours in any 24 hour cycle. The exception being when I need something of a ‘reboot’ of the brain; at which time I force two four hour segments. It works wonderfully; resetting the amygdala and basically cramming in two full REM cycles to flush the lines. I’m halfway through this process at the moment, about to engage the next one, actually. In the interim, an amusingly unexpected referral from a friend to a place I once thought might be a … well… it doesn’t matter now, does it? Anyway, curious (big surprise), I revisited. I’m […]

The sound effect for today is described thusly: A paper towel, soaked in half-set jello, throw with all imaginable force against a cement wall. That is all.

Today, I find that I wake up with a change in perspective. How unexpected. Hah. Hrm. I think I know what caused it, but I also think it is a transition finally complete; long years of consideration and analysis that just so happen to converge with “the cause” as I know it in this moment. Interesting how life happens. Truly. The outcome will likely (thanks to circumstances and timing) only be noticed by two, perhaps three people. That makes me laugh. Talk about perspective highlighting! A change that is dramatic and world-altering for me…. and only three people on the entire […]