on a guild forum elsewhere, one of our resident game masters has posted an invitational to join him in the local tavern. in fact, he’s just installed a machine to open a dimensional portal in front of those who ‘need a drink’ and whisk them away to the place. the idea being that you have to come up with a story to explain how you get there. from there, who knows? the roleplay is fast, furious, and free-form. my favorite. this, my ‘entrance’, which seems to have gone over nicely. there will be more. i’ll tag it up so you […]

the following instant message conversation occurred today between myself and my direct report, the director of development. mind you, i’m posting this not only as an example of the fun i’m having, but also of the culture and the general perspective and willingness to have work be fun… or would that bee fun? read on…

’nuff said. it’s today. “congratulations, ms. thang, you made it through another crisis.’ my roomie woke me up today. he said, ‘come on, up and at it! be strong, be tough, be stone!’ and i looked up at him and whimpered, ‘i never wanted to be strong.’ he hugged me. it helped. up and at it, i go. hope your day goes well.

i’m happy. and i’ve been happy for a few weeks straight. it feels weird. nice, but weird. i don’t suppose it shows very much or often here, in the charnel ground, play ground, wide open whatever ground… heh… but nonetheless, it’s true. for the first time in my life, letting something go not only didn’t hurt, it was a relief. i didn’t realize how tired i was of holding back anger and hurt in hopes of seeing it change. and i didn’t realize how ancillary i really was. you know, i keep thinking someday i will learn not to be […]

people never have time. people make time. time is a completely human construct. anyone who tells you ‘i just don’t have the time’ is really telling you, ‘i just don’t care to make the time.’ at core, when admitted, people never have time for the things they don’t want to do, for the things that are uncomfortable, for the things that are hard, painful, or push their boundaries beyond the norm. they always make time for the things that they perceive do not do those things. therefore, whenever you find yourself in a position where someone consistently will not make […]

i’m a bit miffed with myself. i put myself in a position where something could happen and, naturally, it did. a lunch that rang up at $9 and change is costing me $42. and all because i let someone talk me into going to lunch with them and they ‘forgot’. bleh. i reckon if that’s the worst that happens on any given day, i’m ahead of the game. but i sure will be happy when running on fumes isn’t standard. not much else to report. i’m learning how to play M:TG again. heh. from people who KNOW. they had a […]

just a reminder to myself — thre is a reason for the decision to be ‘done’ and when it comes, neither time nor circumstance can change it. not because time and circumstance cannot change many things, but because when i am finally pushed to the point of being ‘done’, i have accepted that neither will ever change the thing that caused me to realize i must be ‘done’ for my own sake. today, out of the blue, i received a phone call from someone with whom i am ‘done’. rather than convince me to change my mind, the manner of […]

i caught an old, sappy movie on television tonight. it was quaint, cute, funny, and romantic. i always cry at the happy endings. usually because their kind of like what i hope for and (as silly as it may sound), i get lost in them and wind up crying because i’m happy for the happy i see. sometimes, i cry because i wish it would happen to me. bleh. anyway. this one ends with a the woman saying to her fellow, ‘i wanted it to be you. i really wanted it to be you.’ she got her wish, of course. […]

what a wonderful first week. got more done than expected, feel more comfortable than expected, and just all around loving it. i can hardly believe they’re paying me to do this. heh. don’t get me wrong, i know there will be frustrations and arguments and bumps a plenty — no company exists without them — but the culture and environment are such that i don’t expect them to be nearly as toxic as some of the places i’ve encountered along the way. first scheduled preview play day on monday. heh. three hours of gaming with a new set of product. […]

suspicions can eat you alive, but finding out they are true is always worse. chalk up yet another ‘poof’ of someone disappearing when it got down to ‘be the kind of friend you want to have’. thanks for the true colors, mate, even if too late for more than bitter validation. you know the worst part? even when i was screaming at the top of my lungs with anger about it, i was always hoping i’d be proved wrong. wish you could have managed it, but i’m no longer surprised. you shut me out a long time ago…. silly me, […]