this is a fairly happy night, but likely not for the reasons you’d think.
i have decided tonight, really decided, that i’m not going to date anymore.
i suppose, recent events considered, you’d think this is going to turn into yet another bitter, frustrated, angry tirade about life, men, etc.
actually, it’s just going to be a relatively short statement of realization….
i know, precisely, what i want and need in and from a man.
i know, precisely, within hours of meeting someone, if they are what i want and need.
there is no point in dating. anyone who would meet my wants and needs will do so naturally and thus, self-identify.
anyone who cannot meet my wants and needs will not do so and, naturally, will also self-identify.
it is foolishness to wish someone who either cannot or will not meet my wants and needs would do so.
so i’m not going to do it anymore.
i feel happy. liberated, actually. relieved.
perhaps i will never meet a man who naturally identifies. then again, perhaps i will meet him tomorrow.
either way, i have a good, rich, and fulfilling life. regardless, these things i have. if i find someone with whom to share them, i will treasure it. and if i do not, i will treasure it anyway.
the realization, at core, is very, very simple — it is better to enjoy what i have than to miss what i do not have. i have wasted entirely too much of my life missing things i have not had.
from this moment on, i purpose to end that waste. for me. for my life. for the things i deserve and can give myself.
that is all.