a short realization (K speaking to D)

this is a fairly happy night, but likely not for the reasons you’d think.

i have decided tonight, really decided, that i’m not going to date anymore.

i suppose, recent events considered, you’d think this is going to turn into yet another bitter, frustrated, angry tirade about life, men, etc.

actually, it’s just going to be a relatively short statement of realization….

i know, precisely, what i want and need in and from a man.

i know, precisely, within hours of meeting someone, if they are what i want and need.

there is no point in dating. anyone who would meet my wants and needs will do so naturally and thus, self-identify.

anyone who cannot meet my wants and needs will not do so and, naturally, will also self-identify.

it is foolishness to wish someone who either cannot or will not meet my wants and needs would do so.

so i’m not going to do it anymore.

i feel happy. liberated, actually. relieved.

perhaps i will never meet a man who naturally identifies. then again, perhaps i will meet him tomorrow.

either way, i have a good, rich, and fulfilling life. regardless, these things i have. if i find someone with whom to share them, i will treasure it. and if i do not, i will treasure it anyway.

the realization, at core, is very, very simple — it is better to enjoy what i have than to miss what i do not have. i have wasted entirely too much of my life missing things i have not had.

from this moment on, i purpose to end that waste. for me. for my life. for the things i deserve and can give myself.

that is all.

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