(ref article: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/timstanley/100192299/send-these-horrid-hobbits-back-to-the-shire/) Given your purported educational background, I must admit that I am perplexed by your apparent inability to understand the recent fervor and enthusiasm that greeted the opening of the latest Tolkien classic rendered to film. I will assume for the moment that the bleach from your carefully frosted tips is the culprit; unless of course, you happened to have inadvertently pulled your drawers tighter than expected the morning you decided to write this pitiful expression of selectively blind culturalism. Could it be that your exposure to history is inferior to that which most Ph.D.s experience? Did you […]
Friday Eve Update
An excellent Friday eve, this. I was able to burn test the memory overnight and this morning, re-slotted the third chip to run it and check for errors. Thus far, no problems. So either the seating/pairing was off or the last chip is the bad one. We’ll see. In other news, an interview late this afternoon for a short term contract. It seems very interesting, so I’m hopeful the hook is set. Again… we’ll see. All caught up on college coursework for the week (slightly ahead, actually), so I’ve been spending my time over at Quora.Com dabbling in punditry and […]
Merry Lamb Shift
Entwined, en-twinned, dichotomy; We pull restlessly at the constraint The transitory being is emergent The transitory ripple, ever moving Particle and Antiparticle Star-crossed The Lamb shift A pulse An exchange Closed system Quantum computer Calculating in space-time Stack dump and reboot We’ve been here before you know
damned and done (K speaking to D)
i am heavy hearted and angry at once. how many times have i started a post like this? it goes much deeper, of course. more than anyone knows. what do you do when you’re tired of living, but afraid of dying? drag along like a spine shattered idiot and hope something changes? become so embittered and angry that you fulfill your own prophecies? take up drugs or alcohol so you’re so out of it that the pain stops? the terrible part is, i have so many good things in my life. why can i only languish and anguish over the […]
angry and hurt and lonely and tired of it all (K speaking to D)
i sit and watch television with my roommate. we see a show in which a beautiful woman turns out to be a killer. she gets away. the credits roll. he watches them, then rewinds to watch them again so he can get her name. look her up online. enjoy looking at her more. i watch this and without him saying a word, i know precisely what he is doing. and it makes me so angry that i think i will explode. or cry. but i do neither. i turn my head to the wall and pretend it doesn’t matter. i […]
prudentia doctus (K speaking to D)
I just had utterly casual sex for the first time in 25 years. It wasn’t fulfilling, it wasn’t exciting, and to be utterly blunt, I think a good deal less of the fellow with whom I did this than I thought could be possible. That last part is particularly sad to me because, until today, I had thoughts of possibly trying to build a relationship with him. I am sitting here, less than thirty minutes after his departure, feeling a strange combination of relief and anger. I suspect I am much more settled into ‘singlehood’ than I thought and I’m […]
a short realization (K speaking to D)
this is a fairly happy night, but likely not for the reasons you’d think. i have decided tonight, really decided, that i’m not going to date anymore. i suppose, recent events considered, you’d think this is going to turn into yet another bitter, frustrated, angry tirade about life, men, etc. actually, it’s just going to be a relatively short statement of realization…. i know, precisely, what i want and need in and from a man. i know, precisely, within hours of meeting someone, if they are what i want and need. there is no point in dating. anyone who would […]
reaching emptiness
i tally the last weeks of effort and find i am no further along than when i began in relation to building anything more than friendships and rarely that. martin was a funny, intelligent, enjoyable man. but he wanted all the trappings of commitment without having to make a commitment and that was the end of that. andy was a carefree, gentle man. our first date found me feeding him because he was out of work and penniless and our second date turned out the same and i just don’t have it in me to support someone and it is […]
small victories
i am an idiot. i put myself into situations that i know are going to hurt and when they do, i sit around, hugging the pain and wishing it were different. it’s all flash telling. fast, but not fiction. i had something i didn’t want and i knew he would. so what do i do? i offer it. the entire effort, nothing but glass shards. me, holding it out with a smile. him, questioning it; laying steel traps of ill intent around me. me, idiot, grit my teeth and tell him that his fears are his own to manage, not […]
i saw him today…
i am sitting here utterly bemused and more than a little frustrated. in an attempt to move through my annoyance with the dating scene and come to grips with the flood of interest i’m feeling in the idea of ‘him’ without any manifestation of ‘him’ that has not immediately been imploded or otherwise blown out of the water, i decided tonight to go play Magic:The Gathering with Alicia and Conor (my roomie’s niece and her husband). i drove in to the shop and only realized once there that it is the one Martin had pointed out to me during one […]