autumn was near, and it was becoming hard to walk. he didn’t seem to notice. when she would sigh and ask for a rest, his lower lip would jut and his brows would lower and he’d look over his shoulder toward the stream as if remembering something important…. she was pretty sure he knew by now that doing so spurred her to stagger to her feet and try to stumble a little further. she could no longer see a piece of flesh without his markings. her body seemed one great tattoo of his odd words, sibilants and sighs that she […]
narcissus 2
summer came. for some time, she had followed his zig-zag footsteps. she began to notice little things. things that, at first, didn’t seem to make sense. they would spend days roaming far afield, sometimes the mountains, sometimes the meadow, sometimes a hidden canyon. but no matter how far they roamed, he insisted they return to the stream each night. only by its cooing rush could he sleep. she noticed too the patterns, the pre-cursors, the things that signified the onset of the next spasm. sometimes, she forgot and her arms were criss-crossed with his happy reminders. she told herself the […]
narcissus 1
She met him by a campfire, in the woods. Didn’t know he was there until he giggled and, when she looked up, tossed her a snappy salute before running away. Curious, she followed. Found him in a clearing, by a campfire, next to a stream. Sitting, she smiled. He was distracted. Something in the water. She waited. Eventually, he turned and gave her such a brilliant smile that her breath left her, “Isn’t it beautiful?” He asked. Stuttering softly, she blushed, “Yes. Yes, it is.” For the night, they just sat close. Rarely talking. Whatever it was in the water […]
Broken-Hearted Warrior
“It is only through letting our heart break that we discover something unexpected: The heart cannot actually break, it can only break open… To live with a broken-open heart is to experience life full strength… When the heart breaks open, it marks the beginning of a real love affair with this world. It is a broken-hearted love affair, rather than the conventional kind based on hope and expectation. Only in this fearless love that can respond to life’s pain as well as its beauty can we be of real help to ourselves or anyone else in this difficult age. The […]
Peeking through the shell – v
The weeks of training passed like sunlight over the hillside, battles with all manner of prey already merging into shadow along the halls of memory. I rested by the shrine of the city, the day warm upon my flanks as I contemplated my progress and considered my destiny. From Chiconis to Dralk, to the human cities to great Tazoon itself, I had wandered much of the free world in search of learning. Those first days of almost frightful desperation seemed somehow amusing to me. Now… unconsiciously, I flexed a claw and watched with satisfaction the deep gouge that appeared in […]
Peeking through the shell – iv
The journey to the trainers was relatively uneventful, rolling hills of green marked by dirt paths and the chiming of the crystals — all combining to make my trip through Chiconis peaceful and enjoyable. I followed the line of hatchlings up the hill and over the suspended bridge to the lairs of the elders who guide our learning, skittering to a stop, my nose unceremoniously plowing a trough at the feet of Sandiva. The giggles of the other hatchlings raising my scales slightly, but the warm chuckle of the mistress soothing the sting of their ridicule, “Greetings, Beryl… have you […]
Peeking through the shell – iii
The ambient light inside the temple came as much from the multicolored glass panels along the walls as the soft candlelight that flickered at intermittent points. Sibilant mutterings guided the un-named from the entrance into the alter room, the massive, sunken area appearing through graceful arches as they moved down the long, flat stairs. From beneath the marble upon which they walked, soft amber light rose, dappling the room, meeting prismatic beams that drifted downward through the stained glass of the ceiling. Small gasps of awe echoed through the chamber as hatchlings craned their heads up in unison, following the […]
Peeking through the shell – ii
Waking comes slowly, rolling over me in soft waves of sensation that tease me into consciousness… blissful heat, a scent that means safety, a hint of fecund greenery not far from where I lay… and a gentle nudging that lifts me until my eyes pop open to find her soft amber eyes gazing at me from above, “Time to get up, sleepy head…,” the rumbling voice chuckles as she settles me to my haunches and moves slightly away. She is a marvel of shimmering green, my mother. Wings neatly folded over lithe shoulders, she sits with a curious and amused […]
Peeking through the shell – i
I feel cold. The sense of warmth leeching from me is frightening… shifting, I discover the nature of confinement and for the first time, discontent. Craning my head about, I nestle into the lingering, wet warmth of myself and attempt to sleep… impossible… the fleeing heat reveals a stickiness that annoys even as it spikes my sense of fear… I twitch, aware of my own form for the first time… feeling somehow cramped, somehow deprived. As my mind registers myself, the reality of form and structure, my eyes open… slowly… to nothingness, blackness, and instinctively I realize there is something […]
05-16-2003, untitled
Sitting in the darkness as it feels I have all my life I whisper, quietly, fearfully, not expecting reply, ‘Are you there?’ My breath, frozen on lips that would be warm My heart, still halfway into my throat My whole being focused on the reply I must have, I won’t get, I can’t live without It echoes in my own head Reassuring me that I asked In case I forget in my panicked state Ask again, look foolish or desparate or clingy I find I chant it softly I can’t ask again Instead, my mantra Of hope of reassurance, but […]