if you know me at all, then you know i’m someone who natters and picks at things until they’re worn to death, exhausted, reduced to the point of being ‘unpickable’. i’m almost there in relation to this, but not quite, so apologies if it seems i’m droning on about it yet again. (this, how it often feels to me, so i assume it will seem that way to you as well.) one of the real trials of mindfulness is that you can’t let yourself choke back things that swim up for consideration. i think that’s a healthy thing, for all […]

i have been working thorugh the left over feelings of abandonment, anger, and sadness in relation to the disappearance of Michael from my life. not only from my life, actually. you might liken it to an act of deliberate spite. every account in every place we ever shared as friends he has destroyed and deleted. it is, without a doubt, an act of spite; he knew it would hurt me to find them all gone — all the things we created together… music, art, writing. he knew how it would make me feel and that is why they are gone. […]

as promised. photos of the lovely new auto. note the swank Bose stereo… with 6 cd changer. heh. and the geekazoid digital displays. that central panel can host a nav system (that will be an upgrade in the near future). all around delight. fully automatic, blah blah blah. yes. luxury. for me. wow. :)

two words folks: nissan murano you heard me. hah! the car i have been ever so quietly lusting after for the last five years is finally mine. i traded away the trusty (yet damned rusty) explorer and in my parking space now sits the most amazingly svelte and damned luxurious automobile i have owned since i lost the infiniti. alas, it is too dark for pictures right now, but you can REST ASSURED there will be shots of it tomorrow. in the meantime, allow me to tell you the amazing story of getting it. (video alert! click through to view […]

some months ago, i told you of a dream i had in which we were no longer in touch. i told you how, in the dream, we’d been out of touch for months, and were no longer friended in the various places online we both enjoyed. you told me that would never happen. i knew that it would. some months ago, we were talking. you told me you’d left word with a friend of yours; a close, personal friend, that should ever anything happen to you, they were to let me know. so i would know you had not abandoned […]

my roomie, james, comes to visit me when i’m writing or whatnot. sometimes, he brings his snack with him. sometimes, he sits on the floor (because he doesn’t like my other chair and, like me, he wants eye contact and i can look over to him while we’re talking rather than him talking to the back of my head). this night, he chose to sit in the floor with his bowl of peppermint ice cream. i wasn’t quite quick enough to capture the hilarity of three of the four cats converging on him from all open sides, but i did […]

a friend of mine pointed out the other night that i am not writing as often here. today, i am thinking about this and the reality that i’m most often either busy with work, busy with running around after work and enjoying things, or busy reading a book (!!), taking in some music, chilling with my roomie, or playing with the cats. and i feel badly for a moment because several things occur all at once…. (1) this is the same thing that michael was doing and i chewed his ass off for ignoring me. (2) this is the same […]

work is grand. things are well. i am smiling. i’d write more, but i’m late for bed and really sleepy. heck of a lot of delight to share. soon. promise. love you all. (hug)

well. today has been a very busy day indeed. at roughly 6:30am this morning, i made my usual stop at starbucks for a lovely caramel macciato and piadini (breakfast sandwich). the folks there already have me tagged as ‘a regular’ and know my voice at the speaker… which amuses me and is rather nice. i pull up to the window and hand over my nice, shiny new checkcard to pay. “hrm. it didn’t take it. let me try again.” the girl at the window grins, certain that it’s the machine or maybe she swiped it upside down. we laugh and […]