he said he wanted to be mean what he really meant was that he wanted to be a man i just wanted him to be a friend silly dream, i suppose men don’t look for female friends when married do they
the dull, empty place
in the dull, empty place words drop like stones no echo, no need thumping heavy to ground small puff of dust the only evidence nothing left to say pretending to be obtuse so… how are you as if it is unknown sorry, i’ve been busy you know how it is yes, indeed how could i not you keep telling me spending time with that which matters two weeks vacation such a busy life once upon a time you asked how long i thought i would love you i told you until i died or until you broke my heart in […]
honeysuckle thorns
honeysuckle thorns sweeter than respite sharp as death they dig deep whispering comfort heavy blossoms drifting gently careful, cutting edges beautiful, razor flowers i hold them in my heart
Shandala’s Lament
“We are bound,” he said to me his voice, gentle, his touch, tender in it, all fear of joining, lost great sigh of relief and thankfulness its wind stirring hope which had all but died fanned it to full and flickering flame I accepted the truth of his saying found the delicate knot of it within cradled in every moment since deep delight for its presence a redemption i never thought to know many clouds have passed over the shared sky since that instant in which hope rekindled moments of anger in which we cut one another limping apart to […]
Broken-Hearted Warrior
“It is only through letting our heart break that we discover something unexpected: The heart cannot actually break, it can only break open… To live with a broken-open heart is to experience life full strength… When the heart breaks open, it marks the beginning of a real love affair with this world. It is a broken-hearted love affair, rather than the conventional kind based on hope and expectation. Only in this fearless love that can respond to life’s pain as well as its beauty can we be of real help to ourselves or anyone else in this difficult age. The […]
05-16-2003, untitled
Sitting in the darkness as it feels I have all my life I whisper, quietly, fearfully, not expecting reply, ‘Are you there?’ My breath, frozen on lips that would be warm My heart, still halfway into my throat My whole being focused on the reply I must have, I won’t get, I can’t live without It echoes in my own head Reassuring me that I asked In case I forget in my panicked state Ask again, look foolish or desparate or clingy I find I chant it softly I can’t ask again Instead, my mantra Of hope of reassurance, but […]